Darkness.

There was darkness everywhere a while ago by now.

The noise was still unbearable.

The smells, the voices, every tiny thing, which was related to his other senses.

The pain was much stronger than it should be.

   Rain was coming. He felt the coldness; the piercing, and gradually growing, numbing cold. He just lay on the fallen leaves, injured, and gasping for air. His wounds couldn’t even bleed anymore; almost all of it was gone already.

   Maybe it would’ve been better to stay at the back. At the back, there was nothing, it was not just the light that was missing.

   But whenever he thought of this, he remembered a last invisible ray of light again and again. He may have been just imagining the light since everything was dark here. But he remembered what it looked like. Briefly… not very well… sometimes the silhouettes became blurry, and only flashes remained. Just like when waking up, the dream slowly slips away between one’s fingers; fragments of feelings remain behind, but they wouldn’t deliver anything from the original experience.

   A light, which still flickered slightly, and didn’t let him give up. Somehow he felt him. A boy with dark hair and white skin. A kind, warm being. He was a human. Of course, he was; once upon a time he himself was one too. He knew this person. The boy was the light. When he was thinking about him, he remembered that even when he had his sight, the boy was still his light.

   He didn’t remember him for a long time. He wandered for a long time. No, not his own self, the monster, which transformed his body.

It was an insect. He was grossed out by it. They shared the same body.

   He felt as if he was suppressed by it; as if his body was a car, and he was ordered to take the backseat; he couldn’t even sit in the passenger seat. And the driver was the monster, they went where it wanted, they did what it wanted, and they ate what it wanted.

   In some sense, it was like a dream. It was as if he fell into a dream, but he was still somehow aware of what was happening around him.  

   The monster had its sight for a long time. It saw a lot of things as well. First, he didn’t understand the connections. He didn’t care. Then, as he was waking up more and more in his own body, he realised, that the monster had a lot of eyes. This was the reason why it had such visions, in more directions, from more angles at a time. His brain couldn’t interpret the pictures, but then he managed to “feel” them, thanks to the fact that actually, the insect’s brain was his own as well.

   Mostly, he saw blurry wastelands. Sometimes more grassy areas, sometimes more deserted areas. He could see at night – in fact, even better than in the daylight. Most of the time from above – they flew. He had wings. This monster – or his body – wasn’t too big, and it wandered alone. He felt the creature’s fear, he felt that it was avoiding dangerous places, but even this way they got chased by other monsters sometimes.

   That was very bad, even for his ears. Endless fluttering of wings; sharp pain when fangs, proboscises and claws on the tip of their legs pinched into his, or well, the monster’s body.

   But they were cool with each other for a long while. Throughout countless nights and days, they were flying and flying, sometimes in this direction, sometimes in that direction. The wind often blew, and took them everywhere. Once they were under the soil, because outside, there were strange, strongly resonating waves, which destroyed the lands. The earth protected him, kept him warm and safe. Sometimes he even felt like this was a good way to live, without restrictions, letting someone else taking the lead, and just watching the existence.

Until one day something swayed in him.

   He still didn’t know what these swings were. He felt them even now, a lot of times, a lot of ways. These were vibrations, similar to those in those destructive days, just not that strong ones. This time, they didn’t come with waves; it was rather like a certain point in the world, like a warm dot, attracting him like a magnet.

When it happened for the first time, they flew above a place, different from the previous ones.

And then, it started to come back to him. This place was familiar.

   His head began to ache. In the beginning, he had a lot of headaches, when a memory tried to bulge out.

   It was a grassy, windy, large meadow. It was purl by two forests at its sides, and seemed much greener than any of the previously seen wastelands. Obviously, it was a natural dividing line of something. And as they flew by, a picture suddenly flashed in front of his eyes.

   In the picture – or the memory segment – he did not fly; he was getting out of a car. He felt puzzlement and anxiety, just like that time. He looked around, just like that time. Then, he turned to someone because he remembered that certain someone must be worrying.

 “It’s alright, stay in the car…”

His name slipped out of his fingers, like a shy little glider.

   Beside the memory, however, he felt the attraction. A presence, maybe. This particular, magnetic, warm dot made him remember the light, that he felt a long-long time ago.

   And then everything returned to him. About who was the light, and who was he. That he was a human.

An Ze, where are you?

An Ze.

   An Ze… this was his name. And his own… was Josh. This was the name. How could he forget? He didn’t know to this day, how he could’ve lived in such an ignorant manner for a long time. An Ze was the most important thing for him. The boy and he were the two closest people in the entire world.

   At the same time… it suddenly dawned on him how… terrible he was with him. He lied to him. He betrayed him. He cheated on him. He let him die.

   He already remembered of his worthless life, in which he had only one person who gave him a purpose. But he had no rights over that person – he never had rights, and he was always aware of that. Nothing could wash away his dirtiness; it was indelibly absorbed into his being, no matter how much he wanted to get rid of it.

~xJx~

   Josh was running so fast that all his muscles could feel it; his lungs were burning, his head was pulsing, his ears were rumbling, and his feet felt pierced as if they wanted to break off.

   He took a shower not long ago, but he was already soaking in sweat, his shirt got completely wet, and it seemed icy in the cold night air.

   He only stopped when he collapsed, otherwise, he would’ve gone further, even if he didn’t know to where.

   His head whirred, and for a while, he was just lying under the green frills, and staring at the emerging stars behind them.

   In fact, he didn’t want to think, but as soon as his breath became even, and his dizziness disappeared, the scene popped up in front of him once again, as sharp as if someone recorded it, replaying it in his head. The scene in the public bathroom, where the familiar figure appeared, and then suddenly another figure towered above him, and marked that person as his own.

The Arbiter… and An Ze.

No…

Not An Ze.

He knew it was impossible. He always knew it was impossible.

   The regret turned into an incurable stomach cramp from the moment the door of the armored car clanked behind him in the Abyss, and they drove away at full speed. His whole body trembled, he puked, and when they were not in danger anymore, and stopped to rest, he went to the captain.

 “My friend… maybe he died, but I want to g… I have to go back for him – he stuttered. He didn’t know if he wanted to cry, sink into self-loath, rage, blame others, or shoot away everything…

   Since then, he couldn’t forget his captain’s gaze either. He looked at him as if Josh was a madman.

 “I refuse. I will not take back the group into a pile of flying monsters in the Abyss for a corpse. The dead is dead. You better get used to it. You brought him here. Such a pity it turned out this way; that kid was pretty useful.”

   Josh could feel the weight of this statement still, and the unspoken words. “That kid” was pretty useful, more useful than him. They lost a member, who was more useful than him… because of him.

   John knew that the day was approaching, when they would say “don’t come with us anymore”. He messed up the whole thing when he slept with the mercenary band’s whore. Although he never promised him anything, when An Ze joined the team, Josh ended that thing. He didn’t want An Ze to know about it. He didn’t want him to see that he did such things, even though they didn’t belong to each other.

   The boy had been sleeping around with someone else since then – with the captain’s friend. It was easy to see his intention. A small fake cry, and anyone, who dared to wrong the boy will be thrown out.

   Josh thought that he would sneak out at night, and go back for An Ze, and before dawn, he could rejoin the team with him. When everyone had fallen asleep, he really did get up, and really did jump out of the car.

   His captain was waiting for him. He tripped him, then he got a hit on his head, and when the next time he woke up, he was at the Outer City’s hospital already.

   Mercenary teams were built up by just as strict rules as military troops. There was no room for being emotional. And Josh… although he wasn’t completely useless, he wasn’t the favourite of the captain. He was often scolded for leaving valuable samples or resources on the field because he was too cowardly to collect them alone. And indeed. If he had gathered everything earnestly, let alone he would’ve cleared up the nests of the monsters on his way like other mercenaries, he could’ve had three or four times more money even… And he could’ve offered An Ze to support him. In reality, he loved this idea the best. If he could earn so much money that An Ze could stay in his flat forever, no need for him to work or worry, he could just write his poems and stories while waiting for him to return from the wilderness. Then once, when they were loaded with money, Josh would sacrifice every belonging of his to get a flat in the Main City, and live without fear with An Ze.

   Stupid dreams, of course. Such a loser like him would never reach such goals. He knew as well that he wasn’t good enough to earn so much money, ever.

   An Ze was the only one he loved in his life. But in the beginning, it was different. In fact, this only became clear to him much later. In the Garden of Eden, he joined An Ze’s side, only because An Ze seemed even weaker than him, so he could shine a little bit in the role of a guardian. But he soon discovered that An Ze was better than him in every subject, he was a lot smarter, attentive and emotionally more intelligent than him, and he had no friends for a different reason than Josh – he wasn’t bullied by other kids like Josh, he wasn’t looked down, no one laughed at him for his personality traits, they rather gossiped behind his back, and avoided him. They wanted to become friends with An Ze, but the boy never opened up for them, so they didn’t dare to approach him.

   Josh was jealous and envious of him for a little while. But when they were assigned to the Outer City, he realised, An Ze was still on his side. He was even slightly clingy. He realised that it wasn’t so bad that the boy was there for company, and he started to lose his enviousness; instead, he began to feel himself closer to the other. They could talk about more and more topics, they did more and more things together, and then, he wanted to do everything with him. An Ze had become the meaning of his life.

   And he had to let his body rot in the Abyss because he couldn’t save him; also, he wasn’t so popular to comply with his request, and go back for him.

   Like many times before when he left something valuable, and returned to the base poorer than he should have.

   So, when An Ze suddenly reappeared… he didn’t want to believe it. The papers about his examination were there, and this completely confused Josh.

   He wanted to believe that it was An Ze, and he felt terribly embarrassed in front of him; he was afraid of what would happen between them after that incident… and his fear wasn’t baseless. An Ze avoided him…

   But then, an idea stirred in his brain more and more that An Ze didn’t avoid him because of what happened. He said “I don’t remember”, and maybe he wasn’t lying.

   Between two missions, Josh decided to look after the matter, whether a xenogenic could assimilate completely, take the perfect form of a human, and produce humanlike values. Unfortunately, just like many times before, his motivation was cut off soon: he was asking people in vain, he tried to read in vain, there was very little information on this matter, and he wasn’t the type who had several friends in the scientific field.

   The most he knew was that such monsters who could change form by their will only live in the deepest depths of the Abyss.

    Indeed, Josh lost An Ze in the Abyss, but not in its deepest depths, rather they were around its edges, only a small forest and a grassy wasteland separated them from the Flatlands. Unless a very powerful creature had found An Ze, and ate it… but why would such a powerful being do that, why would it go to the edge of the Abyss, and even if it would eat some “meat leftover”, why would it take his form, and come to the base? Especially if it was not for taking revenge on him?

   Josh had no idea. When he encountered such a difficult and tangled case, it was always An Ze he asked about it because An Ze knew the answer to everything.

   Josh stared at the sky, as these memories chaotically jumped up and down in front of his eyes. All of these… lies, fake promises, his betrayal… all of these led him to this point.

That thing was not An Ze, but it even enchanted such a powerful person like the Arbiter.

Maybe it planned to eradicate the whole human race, not just Josh?

   However, regardless of knowing that the reason should be like this, he couldn’t completely prescind from… his feelings. From his too-late love confession, which he never told An Ze before their journey, because he felt like he wasn’t good enough for a person like the boy. Yet, he wanted An Ze to never find anyone else, thus they could hang out together forever… He always felt lucky for An Ze also being a bit of a cast out.

   An Ze didn’t want to take a notice of anyone because he was fine in his own little world, he had his own hobbies, and somehow he wasn’t great at chatting. He couldn’t really lie, he wasn’t good at faking things – he was pure. If he managed to make friends, everyone immediately could see how good of a person he was. If he were a little braver, everyone would adore him, people would fall on their knees for him, they would spoil him, he could have had five or six lovers as well, and people would even argue over him. Not only because of his look, but of course, it was not a bad thing either. But An Ze’s kindness simply was like that… like coming home on a cold night to a warm house, or taking a hot bath, after one was freezing all day long. Because he always listened to him, always had some nice words for him, and even above this, he was very talented. He had a hard time initiating discussions, but once he succeeded, and the words would torrent out of his mouth, he would shine, and he could highlight his mind and intelligence. And he did all of this in a way that he didn’t lose the softness of his voice, and care and attentiveness were gleaming in his eyes.

   Anyone would’ve loved him, if An Ze hadn’t been so closed off. Josh was glad for this. Because he always felt like if An Ze opened up, he would not have a chance anymore.

   Because if the boy was the purest existence in the world, then Josh was the dirtiest. Let alone that he was always talentless, because of his laziness, he wasn’t outstanding in any topic, even if he spoke up, he didn’t have the intelligence or kindness An Ze had, so people avoided him… Yet Josh was trying hard. He was able to get along, lied, and faked himself, but he knew, they still despised him, and no one cared for his well-being.

Only An Ze cared.

   But in the end, he couldn’t make the last step towards him. How could such a pure thing be in an intimate relationship with such a dirty thing, right? He thought it was okay this way. An Ze will always be reserved, so he will not have anyone. And Josh decided that he will do the same – other than his mistake with that whore, he never tried to create any emotional relationship, he never looked for a partner, with whom he would have a long-term relationship. So he convinced himself, that although they weren’t a couple with An Ze, as long as they both will be together forever, and be there for each other, all of it was alright. It was enough for him if An Ze talked only with him, and he somehow endured not to step over a certain line with him.

   But not at all had he wanted… other men to help him bring up heavy stuff to his floor. And he didn’t want him to shower with other men before sleeping either. And he didn’t want other men to put their hands on his shoulder, and lead him to his flat, where, obviously, there was only one bed.

   Who would’ve thought that the Arbiter was so dirty as well? No… not even… in fact, everyone knew how dirty the Arbiter was. Josh was raging the most for the man had the face to act as if he wasn’t. He was raging that, while he admitted his own dirtiness, and swore to keep An Ze pure, the Arbiter had the tough skin on his face to contaminate him! For him, it was not hard to put his hand on An Ze’s shoulder, marking him as his own in front of another man… If An Ze would’ve been still himself, he would’ve never let him close. Besides that the Arbiter was a murderer, a disgusting person, Josh hated him even more now. In the past, he only disliked him because others hated him, but now, now he realised how really hateful he was.

   Josh started trembling again. From anger, from disgust, from desperation. He’d lost. He waited until it was truly too late. He had fun with whores, but he couldn’t stand in front of An Ze as a man. Because he hoped that An Ze will always choose him. But everything ended. The hope that “they will be there for each other forever” dispersed, when he made the biggest mistake of his life, and didn’t reach for An Ze’s hand to pull him, to defend him, or to die with him.

   He suddenly sat up when the hot emotions made him do something, but then he stayed that way, sitting. He noticed his surroundings, and after a long time, he had taken a look at where he was.

How did he end up here?

   He was lying on a concrete slope. He was at a construction site, at the very edge of District 6, not far away from the Outer City’s tall wall, that was only separated from him by a buffer zone. The isolation walls were standing here as well, however, at a point, there was a gate-like opening. Presumably for soldiers, who went out to clean up the nearby insect swarms, or who came back with other survivors.

   Josh was in the district all day long, in fact, this was his day off, and he was terribly anxious when he heard the alarm – An Ze was nowhere to be found once again.

   Josh’s heat cooled down when his gaze wandered farther, towards the centre. A quite large, mostly open, concrete, smooth field lay in front of him; maybe they wanted to build another residential building here – the project very clearly had been halted a few years ago, since it didn’t seem like the number of residents would want to rise.

   The centre of the district was lit up sharply. Reflectors and street lamps shone over there. Sometimes even armored cars could be seen too. The residential buildings’ windows had light in them. Despite the late night, they let the electricity on everywhere, while they were moving the refugees. Josh couldn’t hear even the cars’ noises from this distance. It was only sometimes, that a dull gunshot rang out, but it could be a cannon as well, he couldn’t tell.

He sighed into the cold air, and his stomach cramp returned.

   An Ze… no… that someone… and the Arbiter… they were there, in that house – he could see very well, which one was his flat, in fact, his and An Ze’s windows were both facing this way.

He saw the light; it was a very tiny, but clear point. They were there at the moment…

Maybe they were doing it with the lights on…

   Josh’s hand curled into a fist, and stubbornly turned his head away. He was breathing heavily, slightly gasping, and he felt confused. He knew that if An Ze was not An Ze anymore, he shouldn’t be jealous. But at some level, he was still jealous.

   He truly had nothing left like this. The nightmares of the past short period were flooding back to his head: since he returned from that mission, he was continuously anxious; he hadn’t found his place, and never felt this unhappy. He saw An Ze everywhere, even in his dreams, and then sometimes he got very sick when he realised, he wasn’t at his side anymore.

   Instead of the lights, he was staring into the shadows now. Along with the city wall, there were reflectors, and the aurora glowed above him too, so he wasn’t blinded completely by the darkness. As if the isolation walls were looming slightly as well.

   Next to the construction site, a lonely car drove on the road towards that opening that he noticed earlier. It didn’t have its lights on, and the engine’s noise was quite muffled. Nevertheless, it drove quite fast, faster than armored cars usually do. It didn’t take a long time for Josh to understand this wasn’t a military car.

   Mercenaries had such cars. The soldiers’ cars were usually bigger, they could carry more people, there were more places for the loot, and of course, the resting places were much more equipped.

Josh frowned, but the car disappeared at the opening already.

   Perhaps he should report this. It seemed like someone just ran away with an armored vehicle under the cover of the night.

   Then, he realised it was unnecessary. First of all, the soldiers would definitely notice this. Second of all, if they would ask, why he didn’t stop them, or what he was doing at this place, he would become the culprit again. And it was not like they could run anywhere. There were bugs outside.

   Josh thought about what the next step would be. If the other parts of the city had collapsed, what are they going to do? Can they retrieve the previous residential areas? Will there be food? What should he have done about An Ze’s case? If the Arbiter was with him, then even if Josh mentioned it, seeing the results of An Ze’s examination, no one would believe that this boy was an impostor.

But he couldn’t think of anything. An Ze would be able to answer…

   He slowly stood up. The concrete completely chilled out his limbs, cooled down his pants, and even his nose felt cold.

   Better to return. He ran away impulsively, without thinking, because he couldn’t stay in the same airspace with those two. He could be caught and could be really questioned in the end. It was lucky that now all soldiers and Judges were at the main entrance of the district, distributing the residents.

   He started walking downwards, and began to cross the construction site. There was no one, and the lamps at the sides of the site were not lit up, only the green glaring came from the sky. The aurora fluctuated wildly.

   Exactly because of this deadly standstill, every move and flash could be noticed more easily. He sensed something in his peripheral vision, and he looked at his side before he abruptly stopped.

His eyes widened. Every thought scrammed out of his head.

He would recognise this figure anywhere, anytime.

   At that gate, where the car disappeared just now… two figures were seen. One of them was tall, clad in dark clothes, and tugged a smaller one. That smaller one had such white skin as snow. They were fighting, but the taller dragged the smaller with ease.

   Josh froze. An Ze… it was An Ze. It was him, definitely. And… probably the Arbiter. Since who else could it be, when they washed together before…

Maybe they didn’t go to An Ze’s flat in the end? Or something happened?

   Josh felt rage, worry and urge to follow them. He turned to the residential buildings bewildered, but he wasn’t sitting on the slope anymore, and from his current position, he couldn’t see his house, nor the light of An Ze’s flat like he did previously.

   He looked back at the gate, and saw that An Ze fell, before the Arbiter picked him up, and put him on his shoulder.

 "Hey!"

   Josh’s scream was sharp and loud, however, there was a fairly large space between them; certainly, just like the gunshot, his voice was muffled too. His body moved in that direction.

   Why… why was this happening? Maybe all of what he saw in the public bathroom was something else, not what he believed?

   Maybe… just maybe, An Ze wasn’t so weird, because he wasn’t a human, but because he got into trouble, and in reality, there was nothing between him and the Arbiter? Maybe, just maybe, An Ze avoided him to prevent Josh from getting into that something he was in, and not to attract the Arbiter’s attention to Josh? Perhaps the Arbiter just lured him into a trap?

   He started running when these thoughts appeared in his mind. Maybe… just maybe… this was his chance to fix his mistake.

   His leg hurt again, and his lungs burned, but he reached the gaping opening on the isolation wall. He stopped there.

   The opening was held up by two devices. What he didn’t notice at that time, only years after when the memory popped up in his mind, was that these devices looked exactly like makeshift junk made in a DIY house – they shouldn’t be there to disturb the isolation wall, but being this far away from the centre of events, no one noticed it.

   Just like Josh at that moment. He just ran out of this opening, and wildly looked around, his heart was pounding, and he wasn’t searching for makeshift junks, but for a boy.

An Ze, where are you?

   He didn’t see, but he heard his voice. It was a dull, high, trembling voice, and obviously, originated from An Ze, even if Josh was awakened from his sleep, he would recognise it.

 “AN ZE!” He roared, and started running in that direction.

   An Ze, wait. Wait, let me make amends for everything. I will not be like this from now on. I’m sorry for everything. I fucked with others, and I know I did hurt you. I left you there because I was a coward. I broke my promise I made, knowing it was a lie… I just didn’t want you to see how worthless I am. I wanted you to see me strong, and reliable. I didn’t want you to know about my worst side at least, because then I would’ve lost you. But it doesn’t matter anymore… An Ze, I’ll undertake myself, I’m not a good person, I’m not reliable, nor strong, and I can’t catch up with you in anything, I don’t deserve you, but still, An Ze, stay with me. Stay with me from now on, and I will not leave you anymore. An Ze…

   A thousand hopeful, longing thoughts came to life in his head; it filled him with power that he could do something heroic, and finally he could turn around his worthless, dirty fate.

   He stopped soon. He barely could breathe, and it seemed like An Ze moved away quickly. Maybe they got into a car? Anyway, how did they even get to the construction site?

Josh bent over his knees for a few moments, then straightened up.

   He was next to the city wall, directly at its foot, and he recognised this area. The main gates not far from here were open now.

   Something suddenly nailed into his brain, but he couldn’t form thoughts about it, just stared at the open gates. A straight path led to that direction, the reflectors at the top of the wall lit up the wide square. He didn’t see a soul, but as if he had heard An Ze’s voice somewhere.

He slowly walked towards it.

   The other thing he didn’t notice, and it wasn’t truly Josh’s fault, was that in the thick night air, there was fine dust flying. Not even dust, maybe it would be better to call it a fragrance-cloud, although the fragrance it emitted was still unnoticeable. If he had seen it, when he was walking back in District 6, maybe he would’ve realised what happened, and would’ve resisted the effect of the dust. But now he directly walked into it, deeper and deeper.

   He tripped on something abruptly, and fell. He shouted confusedly, and hissed when he realised he scratched his hand. He looked up angrily, and searched for the thing he bumped into.

Then he froze in his sitting.

   The gates he wanted to cross were not there. In fact, there were no city walls around him either. However, a brief light filtered towards him from behind.

He tripped on a stone.

He was sitting outside the city wall, on the dusty ground.

   As the cold ran through his body, and he spun back in his sitting, his mind emptied from thoughts. The Outer City looked really small, the wall shrank, and only the edge of the reflector lights reached him, but he walked out of their scopes just now. Obviously, the problem was much bigger inside the wall than here, so no one paid attention if people were outside…

Then Josh saw the source of the catastrophe.

     The bugs swirled in black clouds over the city. They were like a big raincloud. Its raindrops were also black, but thanks to the reflectors when they “dropped”, they clad in colours, grey,, yellow, red, metallic green… The Outer City was almost completely covered by bugs. There were flies on the entrance gates as well, or some other bugs, Josh couldn’t differentiate it well.

   A dream? A nightmare? This only could be a nightmare… how did he end up outside of the city wall?

An Ze’s voice jerked him back from this absurd, terrifying scene again.

   He turned ahead, and… another cold wave swept through his back, making all the fine hairs stand on his neck. An Ze stood in front of him with a straight spine, hanging arms, in a single nightdress, barefoot.

Josh was taken aback completely.

 “An… An Ze?” He asked, but all of a sudden, he didn’t know what else to say. The boy was just standing, looking at him, his face was shining under the auroragreen darkness, and his gaze was like two black holes. – What… what are we doing outside? Are you not An Ze, are you? Where is the Arbiter?

   An Ze didn’t respond, instead, he stepped closer, and slowly knelt in front of Josh. Then, he descended onto his four, and crawled towards him. He stared at him the whole time, and Josh’s mind couldn’t react. This posture, and the way he moved, absolutely did not fit An Ze, but at the same time, his face was so similar that he couldn’t swing his fist or leg towards him to escape.

   An Ze crawled on him completely, and their bodies pressed together. No matter how much he tried, Josh couldn’t keep himself to his suspicion. He immediately shivered and heated up, especially when An Zhe purposefully pressed their crotches together. Their faces were extremely close, and the boy observed him without blinking. Josh gasped for air, and his head emptied.

   In the depth of the black eyes, some red things flashed. In his pupils, it seemed that there were a thousand other pupils, like small eggs squeezed together. It was a weird sight, but Josh couldn’t look away. He didn’t know that compound eyes would look exactly like this when someone stared at them from close.

   The kiss came even more unexpectedly, but his body unconsciously reacted. He kissed back like a starving person.

   At that time, he longed for the boy’s forgiveness so much that he didn’t even care if An Ze was not the one he knew anymore. It didn’t matter, because “An Ze” was with him. Josh had no right to anything in life. He was a dirty person, who even lost his most precious treasure. To get punished by An Ze, who followed him through this dirty path, with whom he lived together since childhood, somehow didn’t seem such a bad thing.

~xJx~

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