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Indulás: 2024-03-28
 
Failures (18)
Failures (18) : Epilogue 4 - Straps

Epilogue 4 - Straps

Yuu-chan  2024.09.11. 21:20


 “Seraing, come down!”

   Seraing looked up and wiped his forehead. Jibran’s voice was small, for he was still inside the shack, while the younger man went to the roof – currently clenching his fist around a broken antenna, which he found behind the house. It was probably a transceiver that relayed the radio waves between this base and the ships; perhaps a strong storm had broken it. Seraing attempted to fix it, so they could use the communicators, at least.

   For his beloved’s call, he carefully went back to the sloped corner of the roof, where the tiles started to fall; arriving on the ground in a squatting position after a jump he hurried inside.

He stopped at the doorway, blinking dumbfounded.

   Jibran was standing at the nose of the small motorboat – if Seraing didn’t hear him moaning and cussing, he would assume, the doctor was posing for him, sticking his butt out, bending down to grab the boat… But his face was slightly red, and after a few seconds, Seraing realised, that the blond man had tried to move the vehicle. Only because he had absolutely no avail in that attempt, he seemed to be just standing at the nose, stretching his limbs out.

 “What are you doing?”

   As Seraing walked closer, he noticed the mess that the doctor made while he was on the roof; many kinds of tools were scattered all around on the floor, indicating that Jibran had tried to fix the engine with them. When Seraing stepped to the motor, he saw the signs on it as well; the mechanical parts were cleaned, shiny and free from rust, and when Seraing pulled the trigger, it roared loudly.

He was completely stunned.

 “You fixed it.” He said, glancing at Jibran, who straightened his back, panting wildly after exerting himself so much. The blond man lifted his chin and though his face was shining by sweat, and his hair dishevelled and stuck to his forehead, he seemed very proud. His blue eyes were sparking vividly in the dim light behind his glasses as if he was trying to dare Seraing to say something. But instead, he spoke.

 “And what? Did you not know? I’m a pretty good engineer.”

Seraing looked at the boat again and earnestly shook his head.

 “I didn’t know.”

   Jibran laughed, then began to tidy the surroundings; he bent down for a pair of used gloves that were black from the oil, put it into the bin with many sticky cloths that he used to clean the motor; then with his legs, he swept away the tools towards the bag that he brought out from the armored vehicle. As he did that, Seraing noticed that his white lab coat wore some patch of oil too, but he had no time to mention it, because Jibran straightened his back, and tucked into his matted hair, pushing the strands out of his forehead, and looked at him with a wide grin.

 “Looks like I finally did it. Finally… I surprised you with something. God, it was so hard to find something you don’t know about me. Even though I hinted it. I told you, didn’t I, that I will try to make a new frequency-meter soon? Didn’t you know that it was me alone, who put the infection-analyzer together? Actually, I’m pretty familiar with armored vehicles as well. I can drive them just fine. Haha! I just didn’t mention it, I was curious if you would notice. But you didn’t!”

   At first, he just sounded self-effacing, like he wanted to brag about his skills a long time ago, waiting for this moment to come. But by the end of his speech, he clearly wanted to tease Seraing.

Seraing just smiled, and slowly walked to him.

 “Wow. I had no idea indeed. You could’ve been an excellent actor too.” Seraing admitted his lack of attention to Jibran’s talent, and when he reached his beloved, he put his hand on his waist. “You’re amazing, sunshine. Even better than I thought.”

   Probably, it just occurred to Jibran at that moment that Seraing didn’t have his shirt on – it was incredibly hot on the roof, so he took it off and had no time to put it back. His skin felt hot on his shoulders and nape; perhaps he burned a little. The doctor’s gaze shifted, and lit up with a different light, as he put his cold fingers onto Seraing’s chest. His face blushed, but he looked right into Seraing’s eyes after he enjoyed himself enough looking at Seraing’s bare skin.

 “So, I fixed the boat. We can go into the water. I want to start collecting samples. This is our second day, and I haven’t seen a single monster, just that glowing algae. I want some samples from that as well.”

   Seraing just smiled, and felt slightly relieved. After the morning incident – and after Seraing made breakfast for them – his beloved was still very upset. So much so that he sent him away, saying that he wants to be alone. This was the only reason Seraing left him in the shack unattended, and wandered around the backyard and the roof. Otherwise, he would’ve gladly accompanied the doctor wherever he wanted to go.

It looked like Jibran planned to fix the motorboat from the beginning.

   So, Seraing began to help Jibran – or rather, he took the task from him. But it turned out to be harder than it seemed – when Seraing moved the boat earlier, it wasn’t this heavy. It took some time for them to notice that it got stuck in the wooden floor’s crack. After thoroughly discussing the matter, Jibran brought a rope coil, and Seraing tied it around the vehicle securely before he started pulling it out. Finally, it moved, but it was still difficult to navigate it on the solid ground. Jibran had to hold the side so as not to let it fall over, and even this way it was a slow process. Once they reached the sand, however, it began to slide smoothly.

   Before getting into it, Seraing sent Jibran for the glass tanks and fishing tools they brought. It took some time; Jibran went about three rounds until he packed all the smaller tubes and boxes into the boat. Then, Seraing pushed the vehicle into the waves. There was almost no space left for them to sit, thanks to the containers.

   Their first time using a boat was rather ridiculous than exciting. Starting the engine was one thing, but navigating the boat with the wheel was another. Seraing counted himself strong, yet he needed every bit of his power to hold the insanely fast vehicle. None of them expected that they were going to jump on the waves so much either, so Jibran was not even standing, just holding himself on the edge with both arms. Seraing had to use all of his balancing skills to stay on his feet as well.

   He decided to stop soon, not even going too far from the shores. They still saw the white line of sand, the individual trees, the base and their car inside. The waves got tamer here than on the coast, but because of the strong wind, it was still slightly difficult not to fall or lean in a certain direction. Seraing quickly dropped the anchor into the water to stabilise them, at least.

   Jibran’s glasses slid onto the tip of his nose, and he was still panting and gripping the boat’s edge. His face was pale, and he looked at Seraing above the glasses frame.

 “I… I guess we don’t need to turn down the shock absorber in this stuff, eh? Haha-ha… ha…”

   His voice and laughter were shaking wildly, just like his body. Seraing faintly smiled, and seated himself on the tiny space he had left beside the containers – somewhat better, than standing.

 “We will get used to it, I’m sure.” He answered and already started to gain back his calm. “Let’s start collecting your samples. Do you want me to dive? The water is quite clear, but it’s pretty deep already.” Seraing looked out of the boat, trying to see any creatures under the shiny surface. He could see the sand a few meters below them – maybe some plants or corals were there too, but he couldn’t take a good look at it because of the heavy backwash.

   Then, he looked at Jibran again, when he heard him gagging. The blond head disappeared at the other side of the boat, and judging by the noises, his stomach couldn’t handle the constant motion of the vehicle. Seraing frowned, and changed seats, pushing some boxes aside, and sitting next to him, putting his hand on the shivering shoulders.

   Jibran rested his chin on his hand after he was done, and his face seemed even whiter. He was also sweating and kept his glasses on his nose with trembling fingers. As he quietly moaned, Seraing stroked his back.

 “Do you want to go out?”

 “Nah…” Jibran murmured between his teeth. He closed his eyes but then looked up again. Probably, his dizziness hadn’t been doing any good to him with closed eyes. “I can’t be this weak.”

 “Not everyone can handle motion sickness,” Seraing stated calmly. “I had it when I was little, and I first travelled with a car. Actually, it lasted a few times, before I got used to it.”

 “Have you barfed all over the car?” Jibran asked weakly, slightly turning his head to look at him.

 “For the first time, yes.” Seraing laughed awkwardly. “Later, my teachers prepared me up with bags to puke into. It was quite embarrassing.”

 “Did you get… bullied for it?” Jibran gulped, probably still feeling a bit sick. “You said, you were bullied a lot.”

 “For this one…” Seraing tried to recall his memories, squinting. “I can’t remember. I don’t think so. I was laughed at, at first, but then the kids forgot about it. I was bullied more for my appearance, or for being a pushover.”

 “You haven’t changed a lot. You’re such a people-pleaser.” Jibran’s sarcasm wasn’t the best yet, but it seemed that talking to him helped to drive his attention away from the sickness.

 “I would argue… but you’re right.” Seraing sighed deeply with a smile. “I am.”

 “Is it a trauma response for the bullies?”

 “I don’t think so. I’m not trying desperately to make others happy. And I’m not disregarding my own happiness. I just like making people happy. It always felt good. I wasn’t this comfortable with it in the past, though. When I was a kid, I rather stayed silent and only helped people when no one else saw it. I helped other kids, who got bullied, for example. I wasn’t making big moves or wasn’t doing absolutely everything to make them feel better. I was uncertain of what could count as my business and what not. So, I preferred not to do anything publicly. Not until I actually went into the Trial Court’s training, that I started to voice my opinions, or step up for others, or approach them, even if I didn’t know them.”

   Jibran looked at him attentively, and it seemed like Seraing’s way to soothe him worked because he wasn’t that pale anymore.

 “So bad, I didn’t know you.” His beloved said. “But I think I would’ve bullied you for being so nice, so the chance that you would’ve lost the respect you felt towards me back then is big.”

   Seraing laughed and tucked his hand into the blond strands. He liked to see the different sparks in the azure eyes when he did this.

 “I didn’t hate my bullies, so you would be fine.” He said cheerfully. “I felt a bit offended at their behaviour, but I never took them that seriously, when I saw them forgetting about the matter the next day. I realised, that they were just acting on their raw emotions, rather than their true opinions. And they didn’t go very far. They never hurt me physically, or did shameful things to me.”

 “You were such a smartass, even back then,” Jibran concluded, and grinned. “Just like now.”

 “I was doing my observations from a very young age.” Seraing admitted with a nod. “Maybe this was the reason why I did so well in the Trial Court, despite that my stomach couldn’t handle the killings.”

 “There are very few people, who could handle that,” Jibran said in a bit colder and more serious tone. His face lost its shine too, as he was remembering. “If you think about it, we had a pretty fucked up system. For everything. We just accepted it because it worked for so long. Seraing… the people at the Northern Base… are they happy now?”

   It was a very strange and surprising question. Seraing hummed and had to think about it for a moment. He recalled the images of the last couple of years of the group of people, who they had left from the base’s population. About how they worked their guts out for a long time, from dawn to dusk, and even in the evenings. How they were switching shifts to keep each other safe. How they celebrated their first success: with very little enthusiasm. Only the Admiral was energetic and loud that night when they first toasted over finishing the new city walls.

 “I can’t categorically say that,” Seraing murmured after a pause, looking down at his free hand. “I tried my best to make them feel good. I think, my team did a good job of keeping their spirit alive and cheering them up. But after such a big loss that we lived through, it was a rough few years. I would say… now, before I came here, I felt like things started to go in the right direction. People were slightly happier. But if you ask if they’re happier than they were before the catastrophe happened… I’m not sure about that. I guess, they are happy to be alive. Some of them. But we need a lot of time to work through ourselves the grief and pain.”

   Jibran was already elbowing on the boat’s edge, instead of leaning on it, and looked down into the water. He was fine, but now he seemed rather melancholic.

 “Then I should feel ashamed.” He said a bit raspily. “I was being overdramatic even in these past years over my situation. I had a wonderful team behind me, yet I was suffering from my own stupid thoughts and feelings. And now… now I’m just… I feel like I’ve never been happier in my life. Maybe I shouldn’t be this happy, after how much we lost, huh?”

 “I don’t think that would be appropriate,” Seraing stated firmly, even speaking slightly more loudly. Jibran looked at him with widened eyes and raised eyebrows. “Every feeling that you had and have now is completely valid. You don’t own others with sadness or pity. Just because you have a better life or got a better position… It’s not like you haven’t worked for it, or suffered for it. Don’t ever feel shame for being happy or sad, no matter the reason. Everyone works through their traumas differently. If you’re truly that happy, then just enjoy your happiness. Don’t mind what others would think. Everyone has the right to make their own happiness now. There is no one, who would stop them anymore. No more strict rules, no more surveillance, no more restrictions, other than a few important requirements that are needed to maintain peace. Don’t worry about those people, Jibran.”

 “You know, you could’ve been a psychologist instead of a Judge.” Jibran sounded almost upset; he even crossed his arms in front of his chest. “We could’ve worked together more closely.”

 “Sorry, sunshine.” Seraing giggled. He saw his lovely person’s lips curling into a smile hearing it. He noticed that Jibran liked his giggles too, just like the headpats. “But, I still got to work with you in the end. Who knows, if I hadn’t been a Judge, maybe we would’ve never gotten so close to each other. And you wouldn’t come to me for comfort when the world was about to collapse.”

 “That might be true.” Jibran sighed dramatically. “And now, I still have a personal psychologist. How annoying. Now I have to deal with all of my emotions before I could build up a big pile of traumas, and develop stress and depression over it. You will notice every single mood-change, and make me work on it before I could get upset or overthink it. I lose my chance for self-pity. Tsk.”

   Jibran had a half-smile on his face, and he did seem genuinely happy. Seraing grinned as an answer.

 “And I will keep you on this route firmly. Since you asked me to be manlier with you.”

   Jibran’s mouth twitched and his face got some shadows, despite having the sun high up in the sky above them without clouds.

 “Did I really say that? Are you just joking, right? You’re just trying to throw me off. Even if I was drunk, I…”

   When he suddenly got quiet, Seraing saw his face, how he realised something – probably that he did have those wishes deep inside, and Seraing wouldn’t know about them, if he hadn’t confessed them on that night.

So he couldn’t defend or deny it anymore.

   Seraing didn’t answer, instead, he grabbed the fishnet, for it seemed like Jibran didn’t want to start yet. The net had a long stem, and it was extendable, they could pull out a three-meter-long handle, which was more than enough to reach the bottom of the sea.

 “Seraing, don’t act deaf again.”

 “I’m starting to get hungry, so let’s wrap up this trip with some gathering, shall we? I want to check the canned foods today. If all of them went bad, I throw them away. The good ones we still can eat.”

 “Seraing…”

 “I see some stuff down there. Maybe we can eat sea fish too. I’ve never tried to catch a fish before. It’s kind of exciting.”

   He heard that Jibran finally stood up. Since Seraing was now showing his back to him, trying to swipe a good amount of creatures at the other side of the boat, he couldn’t see his expression, but he knew, the blond man was a bit upset, and probably curled his lips down.

   So, he was startled, when he felt the man suddenly embracing from behind, leaning against his back, and putting his chin on Seraing’s shoulder. When Seraing was standing, he was slightly taller than Jibran, and his body somewhat wider too, so they’d never exchanged such a hug before. But now, as he was sitting, Jibran could wrap his arm around more easily, having a better position over him from behind.

   Seraing tensed at first for the unfamiliar feeling, but then he relaxed and tilted his back to Jibran. He still didn’t have his shirt on, and his skin was sensitive, being under the sun for so long – it was a bit painful even. But he would never admit that if that meant Jibran would release him.

 “Seraing…” Jibran whispered, and his lips touched Seraing’s skin so gently, as a butterfly wing. Seraing’s nape and spine grew goosebumps instantly, and just in less than one second, the air suddenly seemed tight. “I’m starting to think, that you’re intentionally undressed. Are you trying to make me lose my mind, right? Are you testing me? Or is this how your stuuupidly people-pleaser self wants to soothe me for what happened in the morning? Are you trying to make it up for me?”

   While he was talking, his hands in front of Seraing’s stomach and lower belly started to stroke him, barely touching the skin, making his muscles cramp back instinctively. Seraing felt ten times hotter than before, and his heart pounded loudly. He needed a couple of seconds to pull himself together.

 “Well…” His voice was so hoarse it rubbed his throat, but he did nothing to hide it. “I suspected that you would like to see me this way. But I didn’t know if it would work against what happened in the morning… Are you not angry anymore because of that?”

   For a moment, Jibran’s palms stopped before he pressed his nose into Seraing’s neck. He felt the coolness of his glasses. The corner of its stem pierced his skin.

 “Mn. I’m angry. At myself. But I will make it right… I promise. Sorry for acting so harshly before… I didn’t know what to do with my feelings. I hate it when I do this. I’ve never done things like this before I started to fall for you. But… I’m also not sure, what to do. Seraing how… how can I suck you well?”

   Seraing didn’t expect this topic to be brought up so casually right now, and he gulped hard. Jibran was still stroking him, sometimes touching the edge of his pants, making him feel like he should’ve left that one at the base too.

 “Mm… I think… the main problem was… that you rushed it. Getting used to the size, and… doing it slower is important. You were too hasty. If you’d given time for yourself… you have to relax the muscles in your throat. It’s not that easy. And I know I’m kind of wide. So maybe you should try it with smaller objects first. You probably have a stronger gag-reflex than me. But I won’t ask you to try if you don’t enjoy it.”

 “Tsk, you’re doing it again, this sickeningly sweet pleasing… You never ask me to change anything.” Jibran complained and suddenly pinched into Seraing’s belly. It was so vivid sensation that Seraing unwillingly jerked, and pushed himself back to Jibran. His bottom hit Jibran’s crotch, and he heard the stopping breath beside his ear. “Yh… You don’t have anything to complain about me? I always bring up something that you have to explain, or I make you change something, but you never ask anything in return.”

   Seraing mind was a bit clouded by the heat he felt inside and outside. He still held the fishnet in his hands, but more or less just clenched his fist on it, not even trying to move it around.

 “No. I love you the way you are.”

 “So you think I don’t love you the way you are?” Jibran’s reply came faster. Seraing was too slow to cover every single crack on the shield – he didn’t expect Jibran to turn the topic in this direction. The younger man closed his eyes.

 “I didn’t say that. I don’t think… that your favours would change who I am, so you’re not exactly trying to change me as a person. Nothing that you’ve asked from me before felt unreasonable or impossible. I’m the one who is capable of responding to your reactions more easily, so I can adapt and make changes. But I will ask you when I really need something. Is that enough for you to feel better?”

 “I don’t know yet,” Jibran murmured, and his hug tightened around Seraing. “I want to know you better. If I know you better, I can notice the things you don’t like. So I can improve myself.”

   Seraing remembered the talk about him teaching Jibran how to read non-verbal communication. This just showed how serious the doctor was about it. He really wanted to learn everything.

 “Alright, love. Dissect me. This is what you would like to do, right?” For the word “dissect”, Jibran slightly shivered. “You can start from outside, digging through me, until you reach my soul.”

 “What exactly do you mean by that?” Jibran’s voice was trembling too.

 “Let’s have an agreement.” Seraing offered, and he heard Jibran’s gulp. “Finish this task here, gather up the samples that you wanted so badly… then later, when we’ve eaten, you can hang me up in the car. All the safety straps and belts are empty now. You can tie me up on the ceiling. Maybe you should try to penetrate me… Or do whatever you want. Deal?”

   Jibran tried very hard not to show his excitement, but in this position, pressing against Seraing from behind, it was inevitable for him to notice his shaking. His lovely sunshine liked this idea very much. Even more than the marine creatures, apparently. His research enthusiasm seemed to find a new subject in the form of Seraing, and it clearly had a stronger pulling affect on Jibran than any other sample. But… this was a vacation, after all. There was no one to stop them from letting their focus slip from the job.

 “What… what do you allow me to do? I need to know the exact permissions.” His partner said in a slightly hurried voice.

 “Whatever you want.” Seraing assured him.

 “Can I use that mucus that I collected before? Can I use Sera Jr on you? Can I use needles on you? Or weapons… like knives?”

Seraing got confused after hearing this list.

 “I haven’t packed Sera Jr, though.” He said uncertainly. Jibran breathed out a laugh.

 “You didn’t, but I did.”

 “I see.” He sighed deeply for this. “Well, I prefer you over Sera Jr.” He emphasised this firmly. “But… I guess you can introduce him to me properly. Okay then, I have one condition.”

 “What is it?”

 “If I ask you to stop… or slow down, or wait a little bit… please, do it. And maybe one more, regarding that mucus… don’t forget how strong that affect was. So, please, don’t try to kill me. You can do anything with me, just be aware that I also have limits. I don’t have anything else to ask. But… before we do all of that… Be a good doc and do your job, sunshine. You seem to be fine already.”

 “Okay, okay, I understood.” Jibran released him suddenly with a dramatic sigh. Seraing was still throbbing in his crotch, so he was just as dissatisfied, but he didn’t want to show it. “I will do my job. Tsk, are you my boss now, huh?”

 “I’m your guardian.” Seraing slowly turned back, and smiled at him. “But I can be your boss too. And your psychologist. And your husband.”

 “I want to change the order.” Jibran’s face was briefly pink and seemed annoyed. “The husband one should be the first.”

 “Of course.” Seraing shoved the fishnet into Jibran’s hands. “However, you are the scientist and I am the soldier when it comes to work, so you should do your work, so I can do mine. I’m here to protect you, while you’re doing your researches, and collecting your specimens. Be more diligent, doctor.”

   Jibran puffed, but he didn’t dare to complain out loud, just turned to the side of the boat in the same manner as Seraing did before, and started to stir the waves.

   Seraing leaned back a little bit. The wind calmed down, so their boat wasn’t rocking too hard – perhaps this helped Jibran not to feel sick too. While the blond man – being the brightest spot in his field of vision clad in his white lab coat– was trying to catch something underwater, Seraing looked up at the blue sky, supporting himself on his stretched arms.

   The sun already passed its highest point. When Seraing closed his eyes, he felt the heat on them from the sun’s rays. The susurration from the waves and the forest, the distant noises of the animals, Jibran’s quiet cussing… Seraing smiled, and just watched the redness of his own eyelids. It was peaceful.

   He recalled what Jibran had told him not long ago, being the happiest he had ever been, and now he felt it too. He didn’t have a bad life, as per se. He had many good memories from his life as a kid, as a trainee, as a Judge, with all of the darkness beside it. He never wished to have a different life, as some people did. But now, that he experienced this feeling, being free, and being with a person who he loved dearly, he was satisfied. He didn’t miss his job. It was surprising even for him. Not as if he didn’t love it, but he didn’t feel any homesickness over it, or wished he could go back – not just to the Northern Base, but in time, where humanity wasn’t at the edge of annihilation.

   Jibran regained his enthusiasm towards his job, forgetting about Seraing once he got his first little creature – it looked like a fish, but it had some strange threads hanging out from its silvery body. He didn’t keep the fish, he just took some of its fluids, before releasing it back to the water. After this, he got multiple fishes, some of them were slightly bigger, and some of them were clad in vivid colours. There were some plants too – Jibran kept those. Not all, but a lot of the containers had been filled with many kinds of monster-parts or fluids. Jibran filled some glasses with water, to keep the samples fresh as much as possible.

   They ended up spending a long time out there in the ocean until they both got briefly frightened when they noticed a black shadow moving under the water a couple of meters away from them. It was so large that they couldn’t see the two ends of it. If they attracted the monster with their movements, or it was just the creature’s hunting area, they had no idea – and frankly, they didn’t want to find out by being the possible prey. It was time to go.

   First of all, they wanted to get a shower first – it was not just Seraing, Jibran’s face burnt too, and both of them were sweating; the doctor especially, having multiple layers of clothes on him. Seraing untied the hose-coil they had inside the car, and pulled it out. The car still had a nice amount of rainwater and moisture collected in its tank, they used that for showering. It felt like heaven, as the weak, lukewarm water jet poured on them.

   While Seraing took his time to open up the cans and make some late lunch – or rather, an early dinner – Jibran started to set up his laboratory in the tent. He put all of his newly filled tanks around his little table, took out his tablet, his notebook, pen and his white doctor’s bag, and put many of his tools and equipment on the table or around him. He rearranged his stuff quite some times, and Seraing saw him putting the shell that Seraing gave him as an engagement gift left and right, trying to find a spot for it that he could always see, but wouldn’t be in his way while working. He ended up making the shell stand on the top of a tiny glass cube at the corner of his table. Then, he began his data collecting and measurements. He talked to himself and Seraing as well.

 “This is the third monster I got. I think this should be something close to a sea horse… Do you know why it is interesting? Because in this class, the male bears the responsibility of childbirth. I think this pink dot that I got from it is one of its eggs. If I can make something out of this, maybe we could evolve our reproductive methods.”

 “Please, don’t ask me to use any extract like that.” Seraing suddenly said. Jibran looked out at him from the tent, briefly surprised. “I do adore women for having the gift of childbirth, but I don’t want to experience it.”

 “Me neither. I don’t think I would give my body for reproduction if something like this would work out. I don’t think I could do anything with a kid either.” For a moment, he silenced, then frowning, he swept through on Seraing’s sitting figure with his suspicious azure eyes. “Do you… want children from me?”

 “No.” He said without hesitation, and upon hearing it, his partner’s expression showed relief. “I think I could be a good father. I liked my time at the Garden of Eden. Kids are cute. But I never thought of having one, so I never grew to like the idea, I guess.”

 “I liked the kids too. I would like to teach them things. But I think if I had one, I would develop many worries over them. They are too fragile.” Jibran sighed deeply. “And they could easily annoy me if I’m not in the mood. And I would need to share your attention.”

Seraing laughed at this honesty but agreed on it.

 “Well, anyway. Maybe someone else would like it.” Jibran turned towards his experiment again. “I have to set up my microscope…” So he tried to make more space for the next equipment that he had taken out from his bag.

 “What else did you shove into that bag?” Seraing asked with a faint smile, tilting his head to the car. Jibran looked up again and blinked confusedly.

 “These are only 10 percent of my most important items. Oh, and this.”

   Suddenly, a dark purple object flew towards Seraing, who caught it in the last second with his right hand.

It was Sera Jr. Seraing deeply sighed.

 “So you really brought it.”

 “I didn’t lie.” Jibran sounded proud. “Oh… by the way… Just for you to know, in fact, I made Sera Jr from scratch. I don’t think Rum even understood what exactly I needed its ingredients for. It has a vibration effect and everything.” After a pause, he added. “So, you can say, it is my child. My creation.”

   Seraing hummed, and for now, he looked through Sera Jr a bit more attentively. And then, an idea shot into his head, feeling the toy’s size and form in his palm. When he first picked it up, he didn’t notice, but having Jibran’s penis in his hand many times since then, he just realised…

 “Jibran… was this dildo… modelled after your dick?”

   Jibran froze, and Seraing saw his face getting stretched for a moment before he turned red. He looked up at him, and visibly swallowed.

 “What else I could’ve done?” He said with a cracking voice. “I couldn’t ask anyone else to make a mould of their dicks… and you weren’t there. So… Thanks for calling it small, I guess.”

The younger man frowned, and he had to think about it when he said that.

 “I just said, it’s smaller than the original.” He corrected Jibran then. “Not that it’s too small. You have a smaller one than I have. But I like your size.”

 “Tsk… can you just shut up?”

 “But, Jibran… this is slightly… inappropriate.” He added, ignoring his beloved’s last shout. “You say, this is your child… you named him after me… but you’re masturbating with it. Yet, it is your own dick… So now… you’re doing yourself with… yourself, who is our child?”

   They looked at each other with all seriousness, and it seemed like this was the very first time when Jibran actually thought about this logic. Seraing let him think about it for as long as needed, but he wanted to laugh very much. This was just a ridiculous scenario.

 “Well…” Jibran finally scraped up his thoughts. “… yes, basically. And this is not even the most perverted fantasy of mine. Are you sure, you can handle me, sweetheart, if you feel weird about this?”

Seraing’s curiosity awakened hearing that.

 “What is your most perverted fantasy?”

 “… Pff… as if I tell you! Haha! I will never tell you! You can find out yourself if you really want to know! Hahaha!”

   Jibran laughed harshly and turned his head away. He clearly was still upset about Seraing’s observation skills. But soon, he got carried away, and undoubtedly had no intention of continuing their conversation – he didn’t find one part for his microscope. Seraing just sighed with a smile, then put Sera Jr aside, and kept opening up some of the cans, focusing his attention on the food.

   It seemed that only those cans had gone bad that were closer to the window. But after he got over that section, the next twenty cans that he brought with himself to the car seemed to be edible. Their smell and colour were completely normal, and as Seraing put a tiny amount on his tongue, the flavour felt okay too.

   The sun started to set, and the portable stove slowly but surely cooked their meal – canned beans with some dried meat – so Seraing had a thirty-minute break, while he could rest. He decided to watch Jibran’s work from behind. As he sat in the car’s doorway, he only saw the back of his beloved person – not even his blond head, since he was bending over the microscope.

 “This is not algae, this seems like… a plankton, or it was once. The structure of it is very familiar. Similar to An Zhe’s. It probably fused with some other soft-bodied sea creature. It’s definitely a xenogen, and it’s probably a polymorph. But it shows both animal and plant signs. Perhaps, underwater creatures could utilise both attributes at the same time. You know, sometimes polymorphs would change their species, but getting stuck between the two, they die because of their disfiguration. It looks like the ocean allows these creatures to live in both forms. I wonder if this had inertia or not. I need to collect more of this, so we can toss it into the Simpson cage. If they can grow bigger, we might be able to use them as fluid containers… if they have inertia, that is. I think these were the bioluminescence balls at night, Seraing. But I can check up on the target points at the base only, so I guess I can’t say for sure if these are living creatures. Tsk, so bad. I need my equipment.”

Seraing smiled, crossing his arms, tilting his head to the stile.

 “You want to go back?”

 “Huh? No-no, we just got here. Hold on, I think it might be alive. I guess it would be better to bring it back to the sea… I don’t know how to feed it. I have to study their behaviour first. But I don’t have time. And we don’t have an underwater laboratory, where I can watch them in their natural habitat… maybe we should’ve brought some cameras that work underwater? I suppose all of that stuff is still on the ships. They’re at the Northern Port now, so we can’t really go there to check… if there are any ships left. Maybe all of them sank already.”

 “Should I ask the Admiral about it?”

   The doctor suddenly raised his head, and turned back to Seraing, looking sharply into his eyes. The light outside was dulled so much, that the cold white lamp above him became their main light source. Jibran seemed even more red-nosed – where the sun burnt him the most – but also more angry in this light. Seraing’s smile turned into a grin.

 “What are you planning over there?” Jibran complained. “Do you need my attention so much? Is it really necessary to bring him up all the time?”

 “All the time?” Seraing raised his eyebrows, still enjoying himself. “I barely mention him.”

 “Tsk, you always mention him… Should I always mention Rum as well?” Jibran fought back, just as always, but then suddenly got quiet, as if something occurred to him – probably, that he had already brought up Rum once this day. He hung his head down, then slowly turned back to his table. “Forget it. I know you’re just teasing me. I will act deaf too from now on.”

 “Are you offended?” Seraing asked; releasing his hands he stood up and slowly walked behind Jibran.

 “No.”

 “Are you sure?” He saw the doctor twitching when he heard his voice from closer this time, but the blond head stubbornly looked forward.

 “I am.”

 “Are you?”

 “I will be offended if you don’t drop the topic.”

 “I just want to be sure.”

 “Seraing, leave me alone!”

 “I don’t want to.”

 “You…”

Jibran’s words halted when Seraing hugged him from behind, giving a soft kiss on his red ear.

 “Sorry if I offended you. I will be more careful of how many times I mention the Admiral. But you were right. I just wanted to tease you.”

 “It’s not like I should prohibit talking about him,” Jibran murmured. “I was just upset, but I’m over it now. But you’re hindering me in my work. Didn’t you say, I should be a diligent doctor? Now you don’t let me do my job. It’s so hard to follow your thoughts. You want one thing, then you want something else, tsk… and now… and… what are you doing?”

   Jibran’s complaining voice got shakier as he was talking more; probably because Seraing hinted small kisses onto his neck – or that he started munching on his earlobe after.

 “Seducing you.”

 “Hah… s-so you really want to interfere with my work?” This time the doctor’s tone seemed much more uncertain. “When finally I’m focusing on it, you destroy my efforts.”

 “Mn. Sorry. I’m selfish, and I want your attention too.”

   Jibran couldn’t keep up with resisting against him; he started to shiver already, and Seraing saw that his hands were also trembling. The doctor put down the Petri dish he was holding and pushed his microscope away.

 “Then I’m done for today.”

 “Good, because the food is also ready.”

   Seraing never had such a meal before. Not because it was canned food – of course, he did have that, and it was alright. But the tension he felt while eating was completely different. They both consumed their meal in silence; it was peaceful, but rather that “peace before the storm” kind of peaceful; he caught himself looking inside the car, measuring the straps on the walls and how he could fit in there, because, of course, the ceiling was not very high.

   The belts and ropes with the hooks were covering the opposite wall of the car. There was only one compartment in the vehicle with these tools, serving the purpose of securing the packages and loads, ensuring motionless carrying even on unlevelled areas. Behind the outstretched, loose straps, a huge net was hanging folded into a smaller size for a couple of times; it was quite large, capable of holding big chunks of loot.

   He noticed that Jibran was also turning his head towards that place; his eyes got misty, he got lost in his thoughts, and his sun-kissed face became even more red. Seraing knew he was already planning his next moves, and this filled him with anticipation too, making him restless, moving his legs slightly, wanting to stand up and leave the food for later, or just undress once again. Every minute they spent with the food seemed to be insanely long.

 “I’m done.” Jibran’s voice sounded raspy and urging, as he tossed his utensils into the empty bowl. “Are we not going to do the dishes now, right?”

 “No. Then… how do you want to start? Do you want me to undress, or do you want to do it for me? You also have to help tying me to the ceiling… I can’t tie myself.”

   The azure eyes flashed with a deeper emotion behind those glasses, and Jibran jumped on his feet. He observed Seraing from head to toe with a hungry expression.

 “First, go inside… I want to shut the door. And then you do it… but slowly.”

 

 

 

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