Part 6 (2)
Yuu-chan 2024.08.14. 14:42
Jibran leaned over the table, supporting himself on his elbows, while he showed his notes to Pauli Jones, who was sitting in his wheelchair at the opposite side.
“Look at this, Pauli!” Jibran talked at a slightly faster pace. “This specimen is more than 200 years old! Isn’t this originated from your era?”
“Yes, seems like it.” Mr Pauli admitted with a usual, warm smile, and wiped his forehead with a towel. His skin seemed to be kissed by the sun already, or just their umbrella above them cast a pinkish hue on his face. It was an extremely hot summer day, they hadn’t experienced such weather for a long time; Jibran felt like even his eyelids were sweating. “There were a few species that had lived much longer than humans, even back then. Most animals that were over one hundred years old had come from the ocean. Sharks, whales, jellyfish, tortoises.”
“So… the water protects them?” Asked An Zhe. The little mushroom sat on the shorter side of the table, which was the furthest part from Jibran. He clearly wanted to ask another question as well, but Lu Feng, who sat next to Jibran, used the opportunity to shove some seedless cherries into his mouth. The boy’s face also seemed to be red, and Lu Feng already tied a wet towel around his forehead. He looked funny with it but Jibran kind of envied him.
“I wouldn’t bet on it, but perhaps. Water can block certain wavelengths, but the types of those wavelengths make the most difference. For example, light cannot penetrate water too far from the surface, but sound will be carried away, even in complete darkness in the form of ultrasounds and resonation. So, would radiation affect marine life? If they’re living in the deepest parts of the ocean, might not. Although, if they eat other creatures from the surface, they still could be affected. But the frequencies would certainly reach them.” Mr Pauli sighed deeply, looking at An Zhe. “I’ve never had a chance to investigate marine life to this extent, so I cannot give you examples. But I would like to study them someday. Like your species, the mushrooms, in the seas we have many kinds of existence, not just fishes. I wonder what corals, sea stars and jellyfish are looking like now, after so many hardships. However, that was also certain, that the infection itself originated from the ocean. Not only that, but our whole existence started in the ocean… If I had time, I would go and make a research centre at the ocean. I’m sure we would find more and more answers to the origin of our planet and our universe if we just could go into the deepness of those waters.
“Then you will be happy for this specimen’s extract!” Jibran drew Mr Pauli’s attention back to his notes. “Once we got enough blood, we can try to use the Simpson cage on it. If I manage to get the frequencies, you can use the extract to regenerate your stem cells. This sample is crazy developed, it’s even better than the monster, which I used for my regeneration extract. It not only allows you to grow back limbs, but actually changes back the cells into their younger form! It’s not even that far from An Zhe’s case either. But… this specimen doesn’t seem like to be a marine creature. I wonder how it got here.”
Mr Pauli quietly laughed.
“I appreciate your enthusiasm, son.” He said slowly. “But I don’t want to use your extract.”
Jibran’s eyes widened, and his mood went down a little.
“What? Why?” He asked louder. “You said you want to go to the ocean and study marine life. If you take this extract, you will be able to go.”
“We don’t know if this extract would allow me to get my youth back, and I definitely don’t want to live forever in this state of my body.” Mr Pauli pointed out. Jibran opened his mouth to argue, but the old scientist raised his own voice before that to outspeak him. “I lived long enough already.”
“But…”
“Don’t look at me like this.” Mr Pauli reached for Jibran’s hand, and stroked it with his gentle fingers. “I’m not going to die tomorrow. You all are making sure that I’m getting my health checked every single month, sometimes even every week and my results are always perfect. My mind also works just fine. I feel young inside, only my joints are telling a different story. My time is almost up, but I won’t die in the next few days, that’s for sure.”
“Pauli, Lu Feng infected you!” Jibran cast a disappointed look at his friend on his right side, who didn’t even reciprocate the attention; Lu Feng was still spoiling An Zhe. Jibran angrily reached out to the centre of the table, for the bowl of fruit to get a good handful for himself. “Not all of it is yours! Also, don’t overfeed that boy. What kind of brother are you?”
“I’m not his brother.”
“He’s not my brother.”
An Zhe and Lu Feng said it at the same time, and for some reason, An Zhe’s already pink face got a deeper red cover, as he looked at Lu Feng, who was just… smiling! Jibran’s interest had awoken.
“Oh? What is that look?” He asked with a grin. Lu Feng, however, shot him with a cold gaze right away, and Jibran suddenly remembered the morning talk with this bastard. Oh… Right… no more dirty jokes.
Jibran dramatically sighed, and looked back at Mr Pauli, starting to munch on a cherry. “Anyway… Pauli… Please, rethink this. Even if you retire, even if you leave your work for the next generation, you should consider this as evolution! Don’t you want to witness how far our species go? Who are better test subjects than us, the researchers?”
“Then why are you hunting Lu Feng to be your test subject, doctor?” An Zhe suddenly asked. “After he said, he doesn’t want it. Why not use your extracts on yourself first?”
“You…”
Jibran almost started an argument, especially because An Zhe was right. It wasn’t that he doubted his own work but he didn’t want to overuse his extractions; in the future, he probably will have much more interesting specimens. But there is no telling yet if it’s beneficial for a human or even possible to have countless different genes added to their species. Everything was in an early stage with these experiments, and they still couldn’t completely control the affects. But he was down for use some very exotic extracts… he considered getting the one that he was working on right now. He already took one that affected his regeneration, so this one should be smooth too. But this time his first thought was obviously not himself but someone whom he didn’t want to lose yet.
“Alright, boys, no need to pick a fight over this.” Mr Pauli smiled at them, and they were all silenced right away. “Jibran, thank you for your hard work. I know you want the best for everyone. But for now, let me just refuse that extract. If I change my mind, I will definitely let you know, I promise.”
Jibran looked away with sadness in his heart. At the Northern Base, he liked everyone equally, but they never got over the “colleague” phase. Which didn’t seem to be bad at that time, and Jibran appreciated all of them, of course. But at this institute, he really felt like he found some people who he could consider friends or even family. Mr Pauli was definitely one of them. Actually, there were a handful of people that he would mourn greatly if they died. No question about who stood in the first place though…
As he remembered Seraing, he suddenly lost his focus on the topic, and looked up at the sky. The sun was still high up, despite it being afternoon already. Today even the wind forgot to blow, and they didn’t have a single cloud above them. They could see the plane when it was approaching… there was nothing yet.
The morning was already far away, considering how many hours their guests needed to reach the Highland Research Institute. Jibran sent his message to Seraing. He didn’t say, he would speak with him… if he wanted to, he needed to mention it soon. From that drunken night, he didn’t dare to enter Mr Pauli’s office without permission, even if Mr Pauli never blamed him… Jibran just didn’t dare.
Following his gaze, Mr Pauli also looked up.
“They should arrive soon.” He stated. “Everyone is so excited to meet with the ladies. They are said to be young and beautiful. Maybe they will be happy if you present them your new experiment, child. Ladies like to stay young and beautiful for a long time.”
“Well… before any other extract, we need to take their blood.” Jibran sighed and took some more fruits into his palm.
“I’m still thinking about that equipment, that you mentioned.” Mr Pauli looked at Lu Feng this time. “That you used to track down An Zhe by analyzing the frequency of the stored tracking agent. If we could study that instrument…”
“They said they didn’t find any of those.” Lu Feng answered flatly. “I asked about them often. Probably they were destroyed with the Twin Towers.”
Such a waste. Jibran felt pain over how many things they’d lost. Knowledge stayed in their head, but knowledge alone wasn’t enough to develop their life, they still needed the technological investments that they built up over the decades.
They couldn’t really use the Simpson cage on living people. It was different, if mercenaries brought back samples from the Abyss, as Lu Feng often did, and they were on the brink of death. But when it comes to people or monsters that they want to keep alive, they only could use body fluids. But there was a problem with that method. Fluids ought to have a container. Which container also had frequencies and it disturbed their research: they couldn’t extract the sample’s pure frequency if the container was made of glass or metal.
Body parts were a good choice to use, and in some cases, they were able to take that route. Because of Jibran’s regeneration extract, people had more courage and will to sacrifice a finger or a limb – but not everyone was okay with the pain, obviously. And it was a strict rule, that they cannot force people to do things they’re afraid of, or cannot cause unnecessary pain for those monsters that they couldn’t ask if they would allow them to cut their parts off.
“An Zhe, can’t you make bigger hyphae balls next time? Can’t you stretch them?” Jibran asked suddenly, as he remembered their last try with the said method.
An Zhe frowned, and pressed his lips together – Jibran couldn’t tell, that it was because of the question, or because he had enough from Lu Feng’s feeding.
“No.” He said in an unchanging voice. “Once I cut my hyphae, they shrink. I cannot control them if they’re not a part of my body.”
So that method was: An Zhe gave them a ball of hyphae, and they soaked it in some body fluids. The inert strands had the advantage of not interfering with the frequency of the sample. However, there were two big issues: one was that the hyphae took a very small form after they were cut; and two that they absorbed the fluids too fast and negated their frequencies before they tossed the small ball into the Simpson cage.
Having such limited options, experimenting on a bunch of fertile women was still wild. They had to make sure that every one of them being treated with respect and care.
Jibran was about to ask when they start the experiments on these women, but his ear caught on a noise that was different from the Institute’s usual sounds. As he looked up again a tiny speck appeared on the pale blue sky.
Rumbling noises filled the air, not just from the sky but the building itself: everyone heard the roaring of the plane that was getting louder and louder, and everyone wanted to see the guests from the Underground City Base; they were the long-awaited attraction. Xenogenics, scientists, soldiers and mercenaries gathered into groups and started to walk in the direction of the landsite on the huge space, that was between the Institute and the wind turbines – that was their tiny airport now.
The noise became too harsh to talk; the plane had arrived as well, the roaring was almost unbearable, until it started to descend and soon it silenced when the engines stopped working. By that time, there were not many people left in the buildings, apart from Jibran and his company.
For a few seconds, they just enjoyed the silence and the scenery. Taking Mr Pauli’s condition into consideration, the old scientist appointed some of the soldiers to greet the new residents and escort them back, so he waited here for them to arrive. Lu Feng, as Mr Pauli’s personal wheelchair-pusher – as Jibran liked to call Lu Feng nowadays – also stayed, naturally. He was not even excited to see the ladies.
And Jibran… well. He was once again a bit lost. He still couldn’t decide if he should call Seraing. Maybe he should excuse himself, and see if he even answered anything.
“Oh, that’s right…” Mr Pauli suddenly spoke up, drawing Jibran’s attention to him. “I actually wanted to mention… For the next weeks’ experiments on these ladies, I chose someone else to help me.”
Jibran couldn’t keep counting how many times he dropped his jaw that day.
“What? You mean… Am I not allowed to assist you?” He knew Mr Pauli would never reject him, so he must have a reason, but he didn’t expect such a decision.
“You will be in the future. But you still need to practice your movements. And you’re trying to go back to work too fast. So I scheduled a month holiday for you.”
“A holiday,” Jibran repeated and then frowned. “What exactly that means? I was on a holiday for almost three years, since I didn’t have my limbs… and I made six extractions alone, some of it with my new right hand…”
“I know. But you still need a few steps to heal from all of your injuries.” Mr Pauli explained calmly, and smiled at him as he usually did. “On your body and in your heart. I think it would be beneficial for you if you leave this place for a little while.”
“Leave?” Jibran’s stomach started to shrink into a small lump. “Am I not even allowed to stay…?
Mr Pauli laughed.
“That’s not it. Of course, this is your home. But even Lu Feng and An Zhe go on a journey every once in a while. You know how important can be to change your location when you’re trying to heal. You came here, and it was the best decision for your health. But you’re still living inside the Institute’s walls. For your limbs to recover fully, it will be good, if you actually go and use them to walk and balance yourself, make them stronger.”
Jibran’s shoulder loosened, as he tried to wrap his head around this new “offer”, which still seemed more like an order. He really didn’t feel like he wanted to go anywhere. Well… he would… if things were in a better shape to go to the Northern Base, just to see the news with his own eyes, the new city, the people there… one specific person… Jibran felt homesickness a lot when he was thinking about that one specific person… But he couldn’t just show up and bother Seraing in his life. Especially after he wrote he wants to talk.
But where else he could go? The Underground City Base? Yes, he was curious about it. They had a few scientists there, which he would like to meet up with… but going there alone was… if he could’ve chosen, he would’ve liked if those scientists come here instead. Or if Mr Pauli would feel safe enough to fly and escort him to the Underground City Base.
He was absolutely not qualified to go to the wilderness. At least not without Lu Feng, but Lu Feng just returned from there, and he always rested at the Institute when they came home.
“Son, don’t be afraid. I’m not forcing you to leave. But even if you stay, I want you to rest your mind a little bit. Despite you were not doing physical work in the last couple of years, you constantly used your mind to help us. You just need a good rest.”
Mr Pauli talked to him, but his eyes wandered somewhere in the building’s direction, which was behind Jibran. The old man’s blue eyes were sparkling, and he smiled more widely, as he was staring at a certain point – it seemed like in his mind he imagined the places that he would want to visit.
Jibran suddenly felt like he understood him.
Mr Pauli was still able to enjoy life, but his body couldn’t keep up, so for him, leaving the Institute was much harder these days. They were both scientists, but Jibran knew, Mr Pauli was a bit more outgoing than him. He was the type of researcher, who would happily go to the wilderness to find new species, wandering in the woods, while the soldiers protecting him. Mr Pauli actually did that when he was younger, the scientist told him about those days.
And not as if Jibran wouldn’t like to have such trips, but his escort was difficult for him to choose.
“I don’t want to go alone… or with people I don’t know well,” Jibran said at last. He always tried to be very honest with Mr Pauli.
“Then maybe I can escort you if you think I’m qualified enough.”
Jibran froze in his seat. He looked at Mr Pauli, who was still sitting in the same position, holding his chin in his palm while tilting his head – but his eyes were not pointing at some direction behind him but at Jibran. The endless warmness of those eyes was like a blanket that covered Jibran.
With sluggish movements, he turned to his left, looking towards the building.
A tall, thin figure was standing behind him, only two meters away from him, leaning against the vines that had covered the white walls. His hands were in his pocket – his posture was loose and free, and he didn’t wear his black uniform. His pants were black but he was clad in a white shirt only, no hat, no coat, no jacket, no military boots, just a regular boots and a belt pack around his waist… and he smiled at him with that familiar, faint smile.
It was like a daydream, seeing Seraing so close to him.
“Seraing.” He heard Lu Feng’s cold voice, which made Jibran tremble as if he was being pulled up from the deepness of the ocean: reality felt like the cold wind after he emerged from the waves, even though the sun was glaring in the blue sky. This… wasn’t a dream…
“Colonel. An Zhe. Mr Jones.” He greeted everyone, as he pushed himself from the wall and slowly closed the distance between him and the table. He stopped beside Jibran, who still couldn’t move, just looked up, and squinted, as the sun was shining behind Seraing. His eyes teared up from it. “Jibran.” Seraing said a bit more quietly and warmly. They looked at each other; Seraing’s eyes caught Jibran’s, and didn’t let him look away. “I’m sorry, have you waited for me a lot?”
Jibran thought, Seraing asked him, and he didn’t know, what to say. He tried to not lose his mind and regulate his heart rate and breathing, because he wanted to say things, which would be probably inappropriate here; and wanted to do things, which definitely would be inappropriate here… but then Mr Pauli answered.
“No, we just talked about Jibran’s holiday. You came exactly at the right moment. Then, I guess I need to go, the ladies are here.”
“Yes. Your assistants greeted us as we landed. They’d been escorted to the dining hall”
“Thank you, son.” Mr Pauli nodded, while Lu Feng stood up. As he was passing by Seraing, he put his hand on the young Judge’s shoulder, and squeezed it. Then, he went to Mr Pauli to take him to the building, and of course, the little mushroom was in his tow. “Then I will go now. Don’t forget to come inside for dinner… or will you leave right away?”
“No, I think we need to talk things through first. If it’s possible, I would like to stay for a couple of days, if Jibran doesn’t decide otherwise.”
They all spoke like they already knew each other… no, no, they all spoke as if they planned something together, behind Jibran’s back. He was so stunned by these events and frozen by his own feelings, that he wasn’t able to say a single word to them. Before he woke up from his confusion, Mr Pauli was carried away in his wheelchair by Lu Feng and An Zhe.
Seraing was still here. Jibran looked at him, as he pulled a chair to the other, shorter side of the table, but facing towards him in his sitting, putting his elbow on the corner of the table, his hand hanging by his wrist above Jibran’s lap, his body leaning towards him… they were close. They were really close… if Jibran would lift his hand he could reach this person easily.
He couldn’t move.
He just looked at the handsome face that got a brief tan, as if he was on the sun in the last couple of days or weeks, so his freckles were less visible; he still had those pretty, long eyelashes and the smiling, brown and yellow and orange sparked eyes; and the lips, that were curved into a big, happy smile now, which he never saw on Seraing before… the whole man seemed to be so… careless and emotional. Jibran’s heart trashed like a beached fish, and he still gasped for air. He tried to hide it. But his face was burning. That stupid sun… why there is no wind right at this moment?
“Surprise.” Seraing broke the silence.
Jibran swallowed.
“I just said… I don’t like surprises.” He stuttered, having so much thought in his head that he couldn’t even put them in order.
“You said?” Seraing raised his eyebrows.
“The email,” Jibran explained, and he started to come to his senses. This… he would’ve never imagined this to happen… and no one… not a single person told him! This is… this is… He couldn’t even think of a good word for what it was.
“Ah, you mean, you answered my email?” Seraing sounded unfamiliarly excited, and he took out a tablet from his belt pack. Jibran suddenly got frightened to death.
“Don’t read it if you haven’t read it yet!”
But Seraing was already watching the screen, and trying to see the words in the sunlight.
“Why not? I can answer to you in person.” Seraing calmly stated, and for Jibran’s worst embarrassment, he started to read his email out loud… At least all the people went to see the women now, and they were alone on the peaceful balcony. “Mr Pauli said he heard it was you, who talked with the Underground City Base and you arranged this exchange with them about the ladies… ” Seraing nodded as he looked up while he was answering. “Yes, it is true. Actually, I have some great relationships with people from the Underground City Base. We had a lot of back and forth about these women… they all came willingly because they adored our base, or just were bored at their own, and didn’t mind moving. It wasn’t a hard decision, but we had to make a lot of agreements before we actually pulled it off. You know… not to turn this into another Rose Manifesto. Sorry for not mentioning it. This was the work I was busy with and for why I wasn’t able to write to you that much. I wanted to tell you but I planned to bring those ladies here, so I thought we can talk about it once I’m here.”
And he smiled widely, before going into the reading again. Jibran swallowed. He wanted to ask, why he was here. Wanted to ask, why he was acting this way. Wanted to ask how long he stays. And many… many more things, but he couldn’t. His throat was tight, and he just wanted to listen to his voice. He watched this man in front of him, digesting every sentence Jibran had written. His words were coming from so close that Jibran was able to hear the vibration in the air as he spoke. Had his voice got deeper? Jibran closed his eyes to hear it better.
“What serious topics?” He heard that resonating voice calmly running through his ears, like a narrow stream between the pebbles. “Well… about me coming here and our future, to be exact. Why did you say, you’re not feeling hopeful for my surprise? What did you think it will be?”
Jibran still sat with closed eyes, but as the man silenced, he opened them, and looked at Seraing’s curious face.
“I… thought you were going to cut ties with me,” Jibran told him the truth. Why hide it anymore, right…? The embarrassment cannot get worse than this. Seraing raised his eyebrows again.
“Cutting ties?” He asked back as if he did not believe it. “After all of my attempts to flirt with you, you thought I was going to break up with you?”
“I didn’t even know we were still together after I came here.” Jibran raised his voice in the nervous shame that he completely misunderstood the situation.
“Well, maybe if you were willing to speak to me that night…” Seraing giggled. GIGGLED! Jibran’s heart tingled; this was the first time he heard this cute noise from this man. “I would’ve told you, that I’m going to wait for you until you’re ready to be with me. I knew you had some confidence-issues because of your state… even though, I accepted you just as much as before. But I thought, once you got your confidence back, you will be able to open up to me again. So… I wanted to tell you this. But you refused to talk and I didn’t press it. Then you went missing for a year and a half.”
“Well… well because…” Jibran tried to explain himself without telling the whole truth, for he was now ashamed about that too. “So it is my fault, huh? Okay, okay, I get it, it’s my fault again. I was… an idiot. What do you want me to say? I said I’m sorry already… I wanted to cut you off completely, I was just never able to, but instead, I did some stupid things… Sorry, okay? I tried to make it right, but I was…”
Seraing’s laugh interrupted his rant, and the man just… lifted his right hand, reached out and put his finger on Jibran’s lips. Jibran’s heart stopped for a whole long moment.
“It’s fine, sunshine.” Seraing smiled again, and when he withdrew his hand, Jibran still felt his touch on his lips. “I don’t blame you. All is fine. I still did my part, stayed loyal waiting for you, and you did come back to me, so I thought you knew that we’re still fine.”
Unsoughtly, some memories jumped into Jibran’s mind, and a painful regret shot into his stomach. He couldn’t hold the eye contact, but Seraing continued, so he didn’t notice.
“So you still need a right hand, huh? Well… let’s talk about it somewhere else… who knows, if this building has ears or not.” Seraing’s smile became a grin, and he put down his tablet, turning all of his attention to Jibran now, leaning even closer to him.
Jibran forgot his regret, and looked into those interesting eyes, embraced by the pretty eyelashes. Seraing’s face didn’t change much, but yet it did. If it was because he was just happy to see Jibran, or he was more open about his feelings, not like when he worked as a Judge, Jibran couldn’t really tell. But it made his heart pump his blood faster, and his lips went dry.
“Are you still that shocked? Ah, that’s right; I have to give you something.” Seraing said soon, as they started at each other for a longer time in silence. Then the man slowly put his free hand into his belt pack again, and after some time of fumbling in it, he took out a small, ball-shaped object that had coloured wrapping on it.
A candy.
Seraing put it on the table, right in front of Jibran. His heart jumped, and the resistance against moving was suddenly very weak in him.
“It is yours. I brought a lot more with me.”
Jibran swallowed, and let himself do it. He reached out for the candy, and took it into his hand, but only looked at it. The sweet snack slightly melted, he could feel the softness under the paper.
“You still like candies, right?” After a pause, Seraing added, “… You don’t seem happy for it. You’re not even happy to see me, perhaps?”
“I… am happy. I am shocked.” He said in a raspy voice, and took a deep breath, looking up and clenching his fist around the candy. “How many people knew you’re going to come here? How long have you been planning this?”
“Are you offended?” Seraing’s smile turned awkward, and he quietly laughed. “I’m sorry for not telling you. I planned it from the beginning. I wasn’t sure when I would be able to clear my work and leave things in good hands. If I promised a date, and I ended up not being able to deliver my promise, I would’ve broken your heart again. I didn’t want that, I broke your heart unwillingly too many times. And in the end, it took me three years… So it was a slow process. I only hoped I make it in the timeframe that I imagined. But thanks to Mr Jones, I’ve made it this soon. If he didn’t help me with his advices, I would be still at the base, trying to hold my association together. He helped me go through my plans when he understood my intentions about it and about our relationship. He supported me all along. I also told the Colonel that I come, but only recently. When it was certain, that I can leave everything in my successor’s hand.”
Jibran observed the young face, which did not show any of the hardships he was talking about. He became a much more successful man, than Jibran himself.
“Congratulations.” He said then. “And… so… when do you have to go back?”
“Hmmm…” Seraing’s eyes wandered off as he was thinking, looking at the vines on the wall behind Jibran. “It depends on you. If you want to visit the new base, then soon. If not, then we’re not going. I will take you anywhere, or we can stay here if that’s what you want.”
Jibran just sat there, feeling a strong resistance once again. He nervously played with the candy in his hand. Is he just misunderstanding something again? Seraing smiled gently, and waited for him to say something. Jibran cleared his throat, but it was a little bit tight from the fight he fought against his hopeless heart.
“For how long?” He had to ask it. He couldn’t be doing the silence again; he made a fool out of himself too many times. Seraing cast a surprised look at him.
“For the rest of our lives. If you don’t mind having me for that long.”
“You’re not real, are you.” Jibran suddenly said, not even questioning it. Seraing seemed confused, as he looked at him. “You’re once again just a dream. This would never happen in real life after the things I had done…”
Seraing licked his lips. Jibran’s eyes got fixed on that movement, and his face grew warmer.
“Do you have dreams about me often?” Seraing asked calmly and slowly. Jibran swallowed again.
“Yeah… many times.” He murmured, and the urge to touch Seraing was very strong, but he held it back.
“What type of dreams you had?” The man seemed having fun with the moment, he smiled widely again.
“… You want me to say it?” Jibran pressed his lips together, and closed his eyes for a second. Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply. “Seraing, I… I feel uncomfortable… You know, I do stupid shits when I’m uncomfortable… I don’t know what to say not to act like an idiot now… help me.”
He kept his eyes closed, the candy pierced into his palm, and he sat there, slowly falling out from the shadow of the umbrella, as the sun started to descend upon the mountains. He saw the redness of it through his eyelids. For a little while, the answer was silence, before Seraing would’ve gathered his thoughts.
“I don’t mind if you act like an idiot. You can do your… “stupid shits”, if that meant flirting and joking. Why are you so frightened? It’s just me, Seraing.”
“That is my problem exactly.” Jibran’s voice rose and shook. He heard a very soft and short laughter.
“Alright. I understood. Then let’s pretend that this is a dream. In a dream, anything can happen, right? If this is a dream, what do you think it should happen next? What is the perfect reunion in your mind?”
Jibran didn’t expect him to take such a route, but somehow it awakened his curiosity. He opened his eyes slightly, peeking at Seraing, whose smile became wider as he noticed his look.
“When it comes to reunions… Our reunion should have been more dramatic. We should’ve seen each other from afar, and you should’ve run towards me, and while I’m waving my hand, you should’ve waved your hand. And then, when you arrive, you should’ve picked me up because you are so happy to see me, and kiss me.”
“I see.” Seraing really tried to show a stoic and calm face, but the corner of his lips was twitching. “I’m sorry. It looks like I ruined our perfect reunion. The only thing that I can do now from all of these things is the kiss.”
“You can pick me up too,” Jibran said mindlessly before he could stop himself.
“True. There is also a little space for us to run towards each other. Wanna try?” He just threw this out there for Jibran with a careless grin, and lifted his arm, pointing at the balcony’s corridor. Jibran froze for a second as he imagined it, and unconsciously looked at his side to the narrow space.
He liked that image too much.
No, just stop it.
“Never would embarrass myself with that.” He quickly spat it out, and suddenly stood up. “I changed my mind. In my perfect dream of a reunion, after we hugged each other at the landsite of the plane, you would ask about my well-being and my job, and I would tell you all my success, and I would escort you to my office, and… and would offer you my extracts to try it out. You would accept it, of course, and then we would talk until dinner, and then eat, and then, well, many things can happen, hahah! Let’s go!”
Jibran felt restless, and his mind was still a bit all over the place. With every passing second, he had a harder time to contain his emotions. His logic, his shield of excuses and negativity slowly came down, and he wanted to hurry, wanted to talk with Seraing in private, and touch him, and kiss him; but also he somewhat liked this procrastination, that he didn’t touch and kiss him, saving that moment for later. He wanted to show him everything in this place; his room, the backyard, his favourite spot, his office, his works, the samples, the extracts, and talk about everything that he wasn’t able to tell in his emails. The thought of resisting Seraing started to fade, as his worries and false assumptions erased from his mind.
It took him for a couple of moments to understand, that he was happy. He didn’t feel this way for such a long time, that he actually didn’t even recognise it. As his intense emotions finally made sense to him, he lost focus for a second and he tripped in his own leg when he wanted to step away from his chair.
A strong hand grabbed his elbow, and held him firmly. Jibran got his balance back, but the incident really made his heart jump. Almost… almost embarrassed himself again.
“Are you good? Is it your leg?” He heard Seraing’s worried voice, and he looked up… actually, he had to look up. Seraing stood right beside him, and he was… almost a half-head taller than Jibran. Did Seraing become taller? Jibran forgot if their height matched before, but he didn’t remember this young Judge – or rather ex-Judge – being so big. His mind couldn’t bring up any memories, and he slowly lost his ability to even think, as they stared at each other.
“No. I… was just being lame.” He answered after a good amount of seconds. Not good… not good… Seraing was able to empty his mind in just a second. Maybe he should avoid making eye contact.
Seraing laughed, but he didn’t release him, despite that Jibran already got his balance back.
“Careful, sunshine.” Seraing’s white smile had some knee-weakening superpowers. “You mentioned that you still could use a right hand, haven’t you? So let me escort you to your office. Would that still count as a perfect reunion? Or do you want to change up something?”
There was a memory, that floated up in Jibran’s mind suddenly, and he felt a desperate, instinctive urge to feel that feeling again; even the saliva gathered in his mouth, as if he was addicted to the feeling.
“No. Escort me back, sweetheart.”
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