Thump, thump, thump, thump…

   Jibran frowned upon hearing this muffled noise, and wondered what could’ve caused it. The noise was followed by vibrating movements under his head. He tried to remember, did he fall asleep? But if so, his bed shouldn’t be shaking this way, unless some kind of catastrophe was happening at the moment.

   Despite all of these odds, his bed seemed much more comfortable than it usually was. It made him shake his worry off quickly, his mind faded, and he let himself slip back into the dream he had before he awakened, burrowing his head into the pillow. Just five more minutes… he truly did deserve it, right? The world may end when he gets up, so why not sleep a little longer for one last time?

   However, his plan was interrupted by more thoughts, even though his eyelids stung and stuck together, refusing to open up. After adjusting his head on that pillow multiple times, he confirmed that neither the shape nor the feeling was familiar. It was soft yet hard, and a much smaller shape than he was used to. No, it didn’t add up, it wasn’t his pillow for sure. But what could’ve replaced his pillow? Nothing came to his mind. He should be glad that he even had a bed to rest on, let alone having much furniture around him.

   And this scent… Jibran couldn’t really pinpoint if it was some kind of cologne, shower gel or any other product that had nice smells. Nonetheless, he loved it. He took a deep breath, pressing his nose into that soft and hard thing, inhaling the fresh, strong, yet slightly sweet scent, and a smile hung on his lips.

   He clearly wasn’t really in his right mind yet. Until he heard someone clearing his throat – and that vibration came from right below his ear.

 “Are you awake, doctor?”

   Jibran finally opened his eyes, and he saw someone’s Adam’s apple from an intimately close viewpoint – so close that he noticed every individual cell of the skin. And then the collar of his shirt. And then the edge of a black uniform coat.

   Cold sweat rushed over his body, and reality unpleasantly slapped him wide awake. Someone’s arms pressed against his ham and back – he was carried in princess-style, while he rested his head on that person’s neck and shoulder. This person was the source of the noise, movements and vibration – his heavy steps on the stairs, and then on the corridor’s floor.

   Jibran was startled, and wanted to be put down immediately, feeling like dying from embarrassment for a second. But in the next one, he fell back to the person’s chest. When he suddenly moved away the world twisted and turned around him wildly, making his head pound.

 “Don’t move yet. We’re almost there.”

   As the world stopped twisting, and his sleepiness faded, Jibran recognised that this was just Seraing.

 “Se… Seraing?” His voice was raspy, so he had to clear his throat as well.

 “Yes, doctor?”

 “What happened… why are you carrying me like this?”

   But as soon as he spoke, his memories flooded his mind: the day of the transfer, the incident with An Zhe, the interrogation and the boy’s confession… Jibran once again felt cold in his entire body, as he remembered the last scene when a bunch of white strands swiftly slipped into his mouth, and suffocated him – Jibran instantly swallowed down the itchy feeling, but there was nothing in his throat anymore.

   But before he could switch to full panic mode, Seraing kicked a door open, and the bright light made the doctor squint. He looked around, and just noticed, his glasses had been taken off, and they were resting on his lap. He quickly put it back.

   They’ve entered the room that he and An Zhe got from the Garden of Eden. White walls, two beds at the two sides of the room, folded quilts, wrinkle-free cushions; at the tiny desk the computer was waiting to be used again, as Jibran was about to send a letter from his email account when things took a turn in the building…

   Seraing finally put him on the bed, and Jibran immediately tried to sit up, but two firm hands pushed his shoulders back to the actual pillow.

   Seraing’s face was a bit pale, and one drop of sweat was sliding down his temple, but his expression remained calm, as he looked at Jibran with his light brown eyes.

 “Please, calm down, doctor. You just got poisoned. It takes some time to wear off. Rest.”

   But at the young Judge’s quiet words, Jibran only felt his body cramping; his organs were already on high alert. He wanted to puke, his heart was pounding and he gasped for air.

 “Am I infected?” He asked hurriedly. He didn’t care that his voice was hoarse, or that it clearly carried the tone of despair. He was fucking desperate at this moment! “Can you tell?”

 “It just happened not long ago. I still have to watch you before I can decide.” Seraing said, and straightened his back, standing up from the bed. From this position, he was unbelievably tall and frightening, especially with the pistol on his waist. “But I don’t think so…”

 “You don’t think so, you said that when you were investigating An Zhe, and “you didn’t think so” that he was not a human anymore.” Jibran didn’t mean to scold the young Judge, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts inside. “He has to be a high-level polymorph, right? Can you differentiate someone like him, if he’s able to hide his xenogenic being?”

 “Up until now, I was able to tell if someone was xenogenic, even if it was a high-level polymorph. An Zhe… was somehow different.” Seraing looked at him in all seriousness, but Jibran didn’t feel much better from this response. “We don’t understand many things that happened tonight. Was he even telling the truth? We have no way to prove it. Maybe even the Colonel wouldn’t be able to…”

Lu Feng. Jibran trusted Lu Feng’s eyes more than anyone’s.

 “You think, An Zhe didn’t get infected in the last couple of days? You think, he was messing with Lu Feng all the time?” Jibran’s lips and tongue were as dry as if his mouth had forgotten how to produce saliva, and he started to get nauseous again.

Seraing frowned, and for the first time this day, he seemed a bit confused.

 “The Colonel always kept An Zhe at his sight.” He explained. “If it was for the suspicion, that An Zhe was a xenogenic all along… then it also means An Zhe didn’t infect anyone, and the Colonel chose not to kill him. The Colonel spent a lot of time with him, and nothing happened. He had coworkers, he was with you, he was with me… he did nothing, he was obedient, he didn’t show any malicious signs as xenogenics usually do.”

   Jibran knew all of this but only now when Seraing said it, he realised the meaning of it. His body loosened up.

 “Where is he now?”

   Seraing looked away, and his Adam’s apple slightly bobbed. His face remained calm, but Jibran felt some tenseness coming from the posture the young Judge held himself.

 “I shot him, but he escaped.” 

Jibran’s eyes widened.

 “Did he get hurt…?” He realised, his tone was way too worried for this situation. ”I mean, he can’t go too far if he’s injured, right? Did you send out someone to search for him?”

 “No. Not yet… When he disappeared, I searched for him in the nearby rooms, but then… I went back and collected you. Since you were not dead, and there is still a chance that you’re infected, I decided that your situation is a bit more urgent.”

   Jibran was speechless for a few seconds, unable to choose if he should thank Seraing for his generousness, or be mad at him for losing the sample and An Zhe. With all honesty, he was happy and flattered that Seraing held him in such high regard. However…

 “But he has the sample… if he goes away, we can’t retrieve it.”

   Neither of them said a word, and the rather awkward silence was only interrupted by faraway, dull noises from outside. Jibran remembered the destruction that Madam Lu and An Zhe made in the Garden of Eden; this kind of mess was not an easy one to clear out. At least, they had their magnetic field working again. But it would take days if not weeks to recover every important facility and resource.

Jibran turned his head, and looked at the other man’s face.

He thought he saw the same hesitation in Seraing’s eyes that he felt in his own heart.

 “I know the sample is important…” Seraing said at last. The young Judge was still standing beside the doctor’s bed with a straight back. “But I don’t see, why he would escape if his intention was only to destroy it.”

 “To escape from death? Every creature’s main focus is its own life.” Jibran guessed. However, Seraing slowly shook his head.

 “Something is not right with his story. He’s a terrible liar, and I’m sure he lied about something at that time. But I can’t figure it out about what. First, I thought…” The man lowered his voice, as if he was afraid that someone would hear them out. “That the Colonel gave him a secret task about the sample, or something along these lines. If the Colonel was the one, who told him not to say a word about it, it would make sense.

   Jibran hummed, and stared at the ceiling a little bit. Having in mind that An Zhe was so obedient, and they had such a great relationship with Lu Feng, this indeed seemed to be possible. However, what would be the Arbiter’s intention for such an act? Yes, that’s right, the sample was reacting to him in a weird way… what was Lu Feng’s secret about it?

Meanwhile Seraing continued.

 “But there are opposing factors to my hypothesis. Assuming the Colonel knew An Zhe’s origin, would he entrust an important thing like the sample to An Zhe? While he is capable of changing form, and disappearing in an instant? Also, he did attack you, regardless if it was not a deadly attack.

 “Well… we attacked him first,” Jibran murmured to the ceiling. “I mean, the way he was tortured before he chose to confess…”

 “The timing is also interesting if you think about it.” Seraing pointed out suddenly. “He was enduring all that pain, right until we got the news of the magnetic poles. Why? Why only then? Was that a specific timing?”

   Jibran frowned, and his mind seemed to work very slowly because of these “if”s and “why”s. The variety of possibilities was too much to handle already, and there was no way to find an answer just now.

 “To find out the truth, we have to get An Zhe back.” He said then. “You should set up a searching group, at least until Lu Feng comes back.”

 “There is one more thing…” The young Judge softly sighed, and looked away again. “Another factor why I couldn’t send anyone after him yet. I couldn’t take a good look at him after he shed his human form. All I saw was something white. That’s not much to go on.”

   Jibran was silently listening, and impatiently waiting for his turn to speak about what was on his mind, but then he froze for a second upon hearing the word “white”. He instantly snapped out of his thoughts, and something just clicked in his brain.

 “White… that’s right… Say, what form did you see exactly?” He urged Seraing for an answer, and the young Judge frowned at him.

 “His body dispersed, he didn’t really have a form anymore. I only saw a couple of white strands.”

 “Of course… of course, white strands,” Jibran whispered, and his hands started to shake again. He panicked so much that he hadn’t discovered this simple fact until now. “Have you not seen him attacking me? Or, seen the sample he stole?”

 “I was with the Colonel when he collected the sample in the Abyss, but I didn’t see it, it was held very securely. And my apologies, but I was answering my communicator when you were attacked.” Seraing attentively observed Jibran’s face. “Have you figured out something?”

   Jibran bit his lips, and forgot to answer as he was contemplating this new information. He did have an idea, but he wasn’t sure if it was a positive thing or not. According to An Zhe’s confession earlier, the boy ought to be an insect, not a white something. However, he understood now: the possibility that An Zhe ate the sample, and fused with its genes was very likely. Although, the spore wasn’t infectious, and nothing they gave to it could infect the spore, no one tried to eat the sample. So the boy could’ve taken the form of it. In that case, retrieving An Zhe alive would really be the best thing to do, since there was still a tiny hope that he would carry the same characteristics of the sample – talking about its inertia, and since he had a human form, it would make their experiments even easier.

But An Zhe clearly had no intentions to help.

 “Seraing, we really need him,” Jibran said slowly. “Safe and sound…”

   Seraing sighed, and seemingly accepting Jibran’s advice, he took out his communicator to check the time.

 “He got away more than thirty minutes ago. It’s already too long… doesn’t matter, if we’re waiting a bit more. We’ve already got a message that the Colonel’s fleet is heading back to the base. I will prepare a team, but I will wait for the Colonel to come back, and lead the searching team – he would want that anyway – and probably the base would want that as well.”

It was now Jibran who observed the young Judge’s face in the bright light.

 “You don’t want to catch him.”

   Seraing looked deeply into Jibran’s eyes, and after a few seconds, he faintly smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile.

 “Wrong… I wish to retrieve him. But… if I do it now, he might be getting killed as soon as he arrives. I… I don’t think he has bad intentions. Doesn’t matter what his secret is, if he really wanted, he could’ve hurt all of us many times. But I can’t keep him safe right now. If the base decides to ask my opinion for some reason, it wouldn’t matter anyway. And I cannot guarantee that he’s an ally of humanity since we don’t know anything about An Zhe’s true intentions. My words are meaningless. For the military, I’m a nobody. He was accused of being that xenogenic that had started the breakout with Madam Lu… the situation is very tense now. I would like to wait for the Colonel… I think he’s the only one who can save An Zhe, or at least, protect him for a little while… until we force him to confess.”

Jibran sighed, and felt a little bit of relief for a second, even smiling back at the other man.

 “That was what I thought too.” He admitted carelessly. “I don’t want him to die. Even if he attacked me…”

   However, facing his own statement reminded him that there was still a tiny chance that the inhaled strands infected him – they’d never tested the inertia of the sample on humans. All of his carelessness flew out the window, and his excitement had already worn out.

 “I still can be infected.” He murmured with rising anxiousness again. “One thing is sure: he’s an extremely high-level polymorph. He kept all of his human behaviours to the very end. Maybe the sample also wasn’t really inert, just decided not to use its contaminating capability. But… but he seemed honest when he was talking about Madam Lu’s bee genes that were hiding inside her. An Zhe didn’t seem to be familiar with the process. But it’s also uncertain, what exactly happened between her and him… so what if he wasn’t lying before he escaped, after all?”

   Jibran’s limbs were shaking from the cold, as he was lying on the bed powerless; his muscles jerked here and there uncontrollably. Seraing was quietly listening to him; then, he sighed, and walked to the table. Jibran’s eyes didn’t follow him, only when the Judge reappeared in his field of vision, he looked at his figure. Seraing was holding a glass of water.

 “Drink this.”

   He helped Jibran to lift his head; however, drinking was a horrible idea. Jibran’s mouth was still very dry, as if it was not able to absorb any moisture, and his stomach turned; he gagged on that one sip of water.

 “I can’t… I can’t now… I want to vomit.”

 “You’re having a panic attack again, doctor,” Seraing informed him. “Try to breathe deeply and slowly through your nose. You need water. You’re dehydrated.”

   Jibran just waved his hand, and closed his eyes, before pushing down his glasses, and covering his face with his cold palms. His forehead seemed much hotter than his fingers.

 “Will you shoot me if I was infected?”

   Death was not something that Jibran had never thought of. Especially in the last couple of days, death seemed to be just a casual thing on a daily schedule. They were dancing on the edge of starvation, suffocation, depression, or all of it together. He knew the people they left behind at the Lighthouse would commit suicide, and he would too if he was left there. It was an absolute miracle that they only had to spend one day in these circumstances in the Twin Towers. But it was just a matter of time when it was going to be his round.

   At least, it was not an unexpected event. If an infection occurs without physical contact, transformation can happen at any time, anywhere. Now, at least he knows that if he is infected, it’s because of An Zhe.

 “Doctor, I don’t want to shoot you. And I really don’t think I will have to. I apologise if I made you lose your trust in my judgement. Do you want another Judge to come over and watch you?”

   Jibran suddenly opened his eyes, and grabbed Seraing’s hand as he was about to turn away from him.

 “Don’t go…” He gabbled, and pulled Seraing towards himself. The man lost his balance, but managed to redirect himself, and just sat down on the bed beside Jibran, not falling on him, and didn’t try to remove Jibran’s fingers from his wrist. “Sorry… You have to watch me, right? What if I’m transforming after you leave? How much time has passed since I was attacked? Just because the sample was inert, we can’t say for sure that inhaling those things would not change me, since they’ve poisoned me, and…”

   Suddenly, a shadow appeared above Jibran: Seraing bent over him, and pressed his palm onto the doctor’s mouth, completely covering it, making him shut up immediately. Jibran’s eyes widened from the unexpected touch. Seraing’s palm was extremely soft and warm, but the power he held was way more than Jibran was able to perform at this moment.

   The Judge calmly looked down at him from so close that Jibran saw the very light freckles on his pale face and every individual eyelash that embraced his eyes, which were not only brown, but there was some yellowish-orangish spark around his pupils.

 “Doctor, calm down. Actually, your buffer time has already passed. The reason I stayed for so long is to make sure you are fine enough to let you alone without you going crazy. You haven’t shown a single sign of infection, and you’re still acting as yourself. But if you do feel anything strange that you haven’t felt before, just tell me.”

   Jibran was stunned, even when Seraing took his hand off of him, he couldn’t say a word just yet. Instead, he raised his hand to touch his own lips, which seemed to be very sensitive now, and he realised, his face was burning again from the panic. Or maybe his blood pressure had gone up.

   Seraing was still bending over him, and his well-detailed eyes were looking at him as if he wanted to look into Jibran’s soul. The doctor’s body slightly shivered.

 “I think… maybe.” He squeezed out these words in a higher-pitched voice. Seraing frowned, and still hadn’t taken those eyes off of him.

 “What do you feel? Has your thinking changed?”

   Jibran felt the urge to swallow, even though his mouth was still dry. What did he feel? He felt strange, and he couldn’t find the words to describe it. His thinking…? A moment ago, his head was full of memories and thoughts of recent events, but now he only could think of a few unrelated things. His focus wandered off.

 “I think… you have such long eyelashes. Pretty.”

   Seraing raised his eyebrows, and then he straightened his back. His shadow disappeared, and it was so bright in the room again that Jibran’s eyes teared up. The doctor used his glasses, putting them back on his nose, to hide the move of wiping down his eyes.

 “You need to rest a little bit, doctor.” The young Judge said; his voice was invariably calm.

 “Eh? That’s it?” Jibran grinned, but the corners of his mouth twitched in his awkwardness. “Wait… wait, wait, wait. If you leave it like this, I will be totally embarrassed. At least blush or something…”

   Seraing softly laughed. The sound was airy, almost like just a few breaths, but its subtleness was such a fitting tone for the tender boy that Jibran’s neck grew some goosebumps.

 “Thank you for your compliment. But in fact, I’m hearing this phrase quite often.”

   Jibran’s face hurt from the grin that he couldn’t keep up, while his stomach twisted once, and now he was the one, who frowned.

 “Oh… so I was boring.” He made the conclusion. Before the Judge answered, he chose to exaggerate the situation. He started to feel awkwardly nervous and very much uncomfortable. “That’s much better. Not only is my whole life’s work worth nothing, I can’t even flirt. I feel much better, thank you. Sorry, that you had to hear it again.”

 “Are you offended now?” Seraing titled his head, and though his comment didn’t seem to be mocking, Jibran’s heart rate increased. Offended hah! He offended himself by bringing this up. He should’ve known that teasing just doesn’t work on these stupid Judges. But he couldn’t vent these thoughts into words, for Seraing laughed again. “It’s not your fault. You’re good at flirting. I’m… a bit alerted now. The whole night was pretty stressful. I just can’t let myself relax. Please, don’t take it to heart. I appreciate your words.”

Jibran felt even more stupid now. He closed his eyes and swallowed down his own frustration.

 “Don’t mind me.” He said then. “I’m just all over the place. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. You were right, I’m tired. I just wanted to let the steam out. You know, distracting my mind and stuff… I’m still afraid of being infected or dying. The poison might haven’t been absorbed from my veins yet. In case I was turning into a monster, I thought it would be nice to have some fun before. I know I don’t make any sense now, but I just wanted to let you know that you have pretty eyelashes. But rejection is still hurtful, after all.”

 “I apologise… I didn’t mean to reject you.” Seraing’s serious face urged Jibran to laugh, but he was still too anxious. Nonetheless, what suffered the most above all in this situation was his pride. Damn it.

 “You didn’t? So, are you flattered?”

 “I… well, yes, I am.”

But his face was just as unchanging as Lu Feng’s after teasing. Jibran pressed his lips together.

 “Is this some kind of mask on your face that you guys grow on yourself at the Trial Court?” He complained. “Why are you all so dry and boring to tease? Is Lu Feng your idol or something? Do you want to be as cold as that man?”

   Seraing softly sighed, but he patiently patted Jibran’s fingers, which – the doctor just realised – he still held onto Seraing’s right hand.

 “Don’t be angry at him, please. He has an unimaginable weight on his shoulders. He’s just protecting himself. And… yes, actually. It’s a part of our study and job to learn how to keep our calm. If we’re panicking or letting the nervousness take over our minds, we’re unable to do our work. It’s not always easy and I’m absolutely not good at it. But now a lot of people are relying on me, and I have many responsibilities as the replacement of the Colonel. At any other time, I would fall for your flirtation.”

   Jibran started to feel extremely confused. He just wanted to joke with this young man, but now that Seraing had taken him this seriously, the doctor himself started to feel warm and restless, instead of his “victim”. His own reaction scared him almost just as much as the possibility of being infected.

 “Ah.” He answered and couldn’t hold the eye contact with this man, but his gaze fell onto the thin lips, and he had this unstoppable urge to lick his own. His voice became pretty hoarse again. “Well maybe if your work is done for today, you can come back… and we’ll see if my flirtation is really useful.”

Seraing showed him a light smile.

 “I don’t think I will be free in the near future, doctor. If the Colonel arrives, we will have even more work to do.”

   Jibran decided to just hide himself under his arm; he covered his eyes with it, pressing his glasses painfully into his own face.

 “You’re rejecting me again. You liar.”

 “I’m not. I really am not. I apologise. This is just inevitable. The tasks that I should be clearing out will give me overtime now. Instead of doing my job, I’m sitting here, waiting for you to rest. I already should’ve gone back, doctor.”

 “Ah yes, yes, you are very busy…” Jibran started to speak faster. “It’s definitely my fault. Either way, it’s too bad. You’re here, yet missing out on me as well.” Jibran still pressed his arm onto his eyes until the pads of the glasses were piercing into his skin. His face was burning. He really should’ve just shut up already, but that was never an option for him when being in his skin felt this uncomfortable.

 “I’m not blaming you… I think you’re still panicking, doctor. I would feel bad if I would use you in this situation.”

   Jibran shivered and swallowed, his fingers curled up into a fist in his helplessness, and he poured his frustration into that grip. When his nails were biting into his skin, he felt a bit better.

 “I can decide what I feel, and I feel like I would really like you to kiss me. My lips are dry.”

 “Because you’re dehydrated, as I said. And because you’re panicking.”

   Jibran forced out a shaking laughter, and couldn’t hold back to peak out with one eye. Seraing still observed him, despite the doctor hiding his face.

 “Are you for real…? If you’re not rejecting me, there is no way you won’t blush after a statement like this.”

Seraing seemed awkward with his smile now.

 “I… apologise. As I said, I’m too alerted. But doctor… what exactly do you need right now? Simply talking wouldn’t do the trick? I thought, if I stay here and pay attention to you, you would calm down soon, since you like attention. It’s clearly not working now, but I don’t really know what you expect me to do. Is it really to just fall head over heels for you? Would that help? I don’t want to hurt you.”

   Jibran’s lips were trembling slightly again, and he just went back into full hiding mode. His free hand grabbed his own clothes.

 “What if it is? Just let’s kiss and fuck. Why are you still obsessed with your work, when we might be dying very soon? Or at least me. Wouldn’t you feel bad that you didn’t fulfil my last wish?”

 “You aren’t going to die, though. It was already an hour ago since you passed out.”

It was over. Jibran not only hid his face, but turned to the wall, showing his back to Seraing.

 “I’m destroyed. You won. Just go. I will be alright, don’t worry. And forget this. I’m really just tired of the past few days.”

   Jibran felt the mattress moving when Seraing stood up. The doctor tightly closed his eyes. This man really… of course, it was he himself who didn’t stop, when he knew he should’ve stopped but… why couldn’t this man “fall head over heels for him” as he said… just a little bit?! And this was nothing new for him, Jibran did this all the time, he always tried to get under Lu Feng’s skin, but Lu Feng just ignored him, so it was all fine! But the moment when Seraing started to take him seriously, for some reason it became serious… And this young man, for all of the gods’ sake, still kept his stoicism after such a direct offer that Jibran had never made before to anyone… Damn! Why can’t these people ever relax a little bit?!

   Everything was quiet, so Jibran was startled when something touched his shoulder. Then, that light something spread over his entire body. Peaking out below his arm secretly, the doctor confirmed it was the quilt from the other bed. Seraing even dared to adjust the quilt around him in a way that not a single part of Jibran’s body was being left out. It felt very cosy, yet he tensed completely again.

 “I will let you know if the Colonel has arrived. Have a good rest, doctor.”

   Following that, Jibran heard the light footsteps moving away. The door quietly squeaked, and there was a soft clicking noise as Seraing left him alone in the room with his storming emotions.

~¤JxS¤~

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